Notes on love: loving alone

I could walk a hundred miles in this cold weather with these boots
And I wouldn’t mind it
Because it’s such a beautiful thing
To be able to walk at night
I think that’s what it means to love someone alone

I’m peeing but I’m still walking with you to the bus stop
And talk to you until you get on it
Because it’s such a beautiful thing to catch up
I think that’s what it means to love someone alone

I could wake up in the middle of the night
And write down what would be your birthday present
Even though I’m jaded
Because it’s such a beautiful thing to create
I think that’s what it means to love someone alone

I could make every meal for the both of us when you come over
Only with what I have left to eat myself
Because it’s such a beautiful thing to share
I think that’s what it means to love someone alone

I could lend you my bed for your lover to be able to wake you up with a romantic breakfast on Valentine’s Day
Because it’s such a beautiful thing to make great things happen for others
I think that’s what it means to love someone alone

But what is it really?
Seeing the miracle in the ordinary?
Why do I feel alone at loving?
Why is the word alone involved?

I’ve come to learn
So many levels of love
So many ways of loving
And I’m just getting started
Now
I’ve come to realize
This term of loving alone comes from my egocentrical self
The word alone doesn’t fit in loving someone
It doesn’t fit in love itself

Loving someone
The way I love people
Doesn’t come with attachment of any sort
Doesn’t come with judging of any kind
Doesn’t come with pain of any degree
Loving someone is purely admiring their existence with all their flaws
And all their journey
And being grateful
Loving someone is encouraging them to share and be shared
To be happy and to let them get all the best things in this world
And so, so much more

Loving someone doesn’t make you feel alone at any point
Wanting to be loved does.