Book Review: You Could Do Something Amazing with Your Life [You Are Raoul Moat]

As the sun set on the last few pages, I squinted to read the final snatches of Raoul Moat's legacy.

Then it was dark. I folded the leaves closed and exhaled heavily.

You Could Do Something Amazing with Your Life [You Are Raoul Moat] is a magnificent true crime story by Andrew Hankinson, told in the second person. This was possible because there was so much information about Moat's psychology and worldview that we can easily become him. Hankinson has clearly conducted painstaking research. We not only act like Moat, but we think like him. We phrase thoughts like him. We use his vocabulary. We use his internal logic.

For the unfamiliar, Raoul Moat was a huge man from the UK's Newcastle-Upon-Tyne area. He was released from a short jail sentence and immediately killed his ex-girlfriend's new boyfriend with a shotgun, shot his ex-girlfriend in the stomach, then hid in the wilderness for a week before shooting himself in a police stand-off. The newspapers went crazy. The public was shown a monster.

The book reads like a countdown to oblivion. Each chapter is a new day. We know when we will die.

Much of the writing is stream of consciousness. Moat's thoughts and rationale are often garbled and repetitive. I have an issue with reading sometimes where I have to re-read a sentence maybe thirty times before I can parse it. That happened often with this book, and it was hard to know whether it was the writing or the killer that confused me. But I pushed through. It sent me a little mad to be honest.

Moat's obsession with his ex-girlfriend, Sam, was excruciating. In some ways I could relate. The strength of the book is that it allows you to feel compassion for the man behind the headlines. And as soon as you do that, you will learn about your domestic abuse. And your murderous thoughts. But then about your wretched upbringing. It's a rollercoaster.

Some of my thoughts make me laugh. I love Mr Bean. Why wouldn't I?
Some of my thoughts make me sick. I used to torture animals. Why would I?

Ultimately we are painted a picture of a paranoid man who was dragged up by an unstable mother ("constantly grounded"), tried hard to love himself, answered the door holding a crossbow, and finally attempted suicide by police.

To me, You Could Do Something Amazing with Your Life [You Are Raoul Moat] is a story about the failure of society to respect and care for children. It was always going to be.

At some point we need to take control of our lives by remembering the traumas that shaped our worldview. But for some people those horrors are too strong. For some the opportunity for enlightenment comes too little, too late.

Thank you for your time.