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RE: The Celestial Lens | Part 1, The Corridor of Lumina | Short Fiction

in #writing6 years ago

Very flowery prose but not obscure, instead rooted in images.

At first I thought they were celestial taking literal ages to take each step. I thought they were eternal beings outside time.

Then they're just women? On a planet?

Some of the earlier description is too confusing about how slow they are moving. The images make it seem as if each step really is that slow. Even used a moon turning phases between each one. Then later saying it it a certain type of moon while they're walking.

Kept me rapt and curious. Excellence in descriptions. Impressed.

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Thank you.

Your notes are really welcome, the ambiguity that you pick up is rather suitable, I think more will be explained as I post the next few parts. For now, though, I did want to keep it subtle and ambiguous... I think, for now, a bit of confusion is good. I was trying to keep it rooted in the senses, so I'm glad you found it full of imagery (though curiously, no direct description of sight at all, I wonder why... ;P)

I haven't posted anything in a full two months now, let alone been on Steemit. I was down a deep well of depression, slowly pulling myself up now by the fingernails, so I'm glad that the first interaction I've received is from you, a hero of work-ethic. I hope you're doing well :)

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