How I Gave Up 'Truth', And Lowered My Expectations
My grandmother instilled the virtue of honesty in us like it was the most important thing one person could achieve in life.
Absolute honesty in all things, even the most minor, even when it would get you into trouble — although omission, dodging or careful wording seems to be allowed.
I was writing a memoir of our trip to Scotland when I first realized my problem. I distinctly remember the crunching of wet pebbles under my feet during a short walk. Upon viewing pictures from the trip I saw, to my dismay, that the path was not gravel at all but concrete. I lied. As my world came crashing around me I removed the disgusting lie of crunchy gravel from the paragraph and took the next few moments to assuage my guilt.
I took a drink from a blue mug. Was it blue? Or was it grey? I needed to be sure. If I said it was blue but it was really grey, I’ve lied, I’ve not been authentic, I’ve not told the truth.
I’ve long believed that Truth was relative, but that facts should be, well, factual, wherever possible. I had some lofty idea of Truth as some mystical thing to be gained by intense personal devotion to it. If the mug is blue, it cannot be anything else, and if some Truth is to be relayed through a red mug which is actually blue, it takes something away from the Truth itself.
But I’ve decided it is simply impossible to be completely Truth full.
It is not in our genetics, it’s not part of our makeup, it is inhuman.
Maybe I’ve been missing the point all along. Maybe it’s not always important —the colour of the mug — maybe we should focus on the story and what we can learn from it. Not necessarily what facts we can learn, but what kinds of Truth we can learn. Transcendent Holy Truth.
At the same time, being as factual as possible is important. Where it is not possible, I still refuse to willingly include information that is so far from the truth. In the end the Truth is the highest ideal to strive for, shortcomings will happen, but I cannot abandon my grandmother’s teachings so easily, and that’s the truth.
Truth depends upon our subjective perception and the most we can say is "it is true for me". What happens when different people have different opinions on what is "true"?
The truth is that people don't trust others who have a different opinion on the truth. This in turn has social effects that impact the quality of your life.
For example, one can truthfully believe something is a lie, but choose to pretend it is the truth. Even the most honest individual will swear under oath to something the believe is a lie. This happens every time someone is forced to agree with the opinion of their government or face consequences.
The government is just one of the more pointed parts of society in general. A commitment to be truthful at all times is a suicide pact that will get any honest man thrown in jail.
I agree with this. Sometimes, one needs to be tactful when divulging information. Information capable of disrupting the status quo.
I quite agree with you. Not completely though. Thank so muc for writing this. Learnt a new perspective.
I think that the idea of absolute truth is a sham. As you discovered, our memories can be unreliable, and we often let our biases influence our own perception of events. I think that we should be honest with ourselves, as much as we can.
When dealing with other people, things get even more complicated. Since communication is imperfect, we often need to use approximations and stories to get our point across.
Is the mug gray or blue? Depends, on the lightning, the angle you are viewing it from, how good your eyes are, your previous experience with colour, and the clarity of the air... So, what colour "is" it?
Amen! Great post.