What good the day brings.

The live we live and lead is all we ever want it to be and if we fail to maximally make the best of it, we will lose everything that makes for a better experience.
This season is a season that allows for everyone to be not themselves. Many go the whole nine yard to make sure they have an amazing and well spent celebration season.

Seeing the colors of red making a difference in our lives coupled with the cold, the expenses, the rush, the hurried gifting of gifts and then not too disappointed.

I am falling and not seeing where i am going and no idea how deep I will fall.
I want to fall standing on my feet and sadly it looks like I will never hit the ground before I get my feet on solid ground.
Hoping to win is my thing and even when I never get the chance to win, I just keep hoping I win.
People tell me I will never amount to anything and just this Christmas, I kinda proved them right, because I failed to get them a Christmas present.
I look for a way to get through to the others but the others never want me to get through.

I think running into a blank wall whenever I have a need to run is making me loose my way and whenever i try too much, i keep not getting there.

Seeing me doing what i do is hard and painful as much as it is impossible to stay the lane without falling off.

See me celebrating this Christmas while pumping myself full with drugs and others.

I am happy to be alive in this time of my life and i hope to become better as the days trickle in.