We Have a Problem

And by We, I of course mean I, because I'm an egocentric, arrogant, self-aware - by which I mean aware of the greatness that is myself, that is my self, that is... You know what? I've said enough. If you're still confused by this point then that's your fault.

Though I don't know why you would be. After all, confusion is a terrible thing. You know what they say: "In a world of confusion, only the clear voices mean anything, but only the confused voices are heard."

Or is that actually a quote? Why would that be true, and why would you believe for a second that I didn't make that up myself.

Though a world of confusion sounds good. What is a world anyway? Worlds upon worlds exist in our universe, not just the planets, but the worlds beyond them, and we need just look past our own mirrored reflection to see them.

Hmm. mirrored reflection. Mirrors can be rather useful. In fact, I like mirrors. Not when I'm looking in them of course, even I can't handle that horror. And obviously not when anyone else looks into them. It's just... the conceptualtization of mirrors, the words I make up which sound like they're actually words.

What am I even doing? Well asking questions obviously, but why? Why am I still asking that? Isn't it obvious by this point that people ask questions to get the brain to think, and I ask them to get the brain to fart?

... Anyways. What if I just continued from one point, phrase, or even word from my previous sentence/thought/paragraph/WHATEVER without actually finishing the thought?

What is a word anyway? I recently read a nice idea about how words can be objective or subjective - that every word is defined by its roots, and those roots give us the idea of how to define it. Every word can be used in a different way, depending on your perspective of the situation - does a judge separate the facts from a case, or bring together the two opinions, or simply decide what to do?

But perspective is an interesting thing. For instance, some people might perceive the sky as one state of blue, whereas others might perceive it as another. Really, however, they're both wrong - it's a brilliant shade of green.

Green... an interesting color, an interesting word. From green we get the healthiest, the most vibrant, the freshest, but we also get the old, the rotting, the sick.

And that's even before we start considering how the word is used. Somebody could be green, new at something... Why is it that green means new at something anyway? Shouldn't green mean old, as something starts to go greenish grey?

You know, they say red meat is bad for you. They're completely wrong. It's not the red meat that's bad for you, it's the green fuzzy meat. I don't know though. I'd eat green fuzzy meat if I were trapped on my own in some random place, for example, the Alps.

And that's why you need Alpine paints!

My new company, which I decided to make because of this lovely picture from @penderis. I figured it would be easier to actually get a business started than it would be to come up with an idea for one - or, for that matter, a logo.

I don't know why you would want paints in the Alps. I personally think that something useful like... I don't know, shoes.

Shoes wouldn't be useful.

Why not? You need to walk.

Yeah, but in shoes your feet would freeze. You need boots.

Eh, who needs boots?

People who need feet.

Eh, who needs feet?

... Everyone

Why? They've got some incredible new mechanical feet which they're producing right now, and it would be awesome to be a cyborg.

Speaking of which, did you see that movie about the cyborgs? You know, the one with the trees?

By the way, did anyone realize that I never actually finished my first sentence?

Moving on. Movement is a rather interesting concept. It's another thing that's relative, though in a rather interesting way. If you move past someone while he sits, but you're moving in such a way as not to feel any outside forces acting on you - acceleration, gravity, and all those other annoying thingamabobbers - then to your perspective he's moving.

Thus, he will be the one rushing past at an incredible speed, he'll be the one with the wind whistling around him. Wait - wind? I though I said there were no outside forces being experienced.

Eh. I can change datails when I want. Speaking of which, we really need change. And isn't it annoying when you want to buy something quick from a vending machine, but you don't have change?

pixabay
Why am I still ranting anyway?

-hyperbole out

I guess I'll tell you about that problem later.