...

Ok, fine. It totally is. But in my defense, there wasn't much else I could do.

I had this genius idea: I'm gonna write the title before I write the post. Brilliant. So how am I supposed to capture the essence of what I'm writing about when I don't know what I'm writing about?

So I wrote a blatant lie.

Wow, that makes me feel good about myself. I think I'll stop before I follow this thought any further.

But saying illogical things, or even things which are just plain wrong is actually a good way of starting a conversation. I could walk up to someone and say: "The sky is a nice shade of green today," and he'll immediately sputter and try to prove me wrong.

He'll have a difficult time, of course, mostly because colors are relative.

Well, everything is relative. For example, my brother and I...

Ok, that was bad. But seriously, colors are very relative - we likely each see colors differently, and considering the fact that most if not all colors contain a wide range of shades, who's to say that the sky isn't a fine shade of green, at least from my perspective.

Yes, I am crazy. Why do you ask?

Confused yet? Good. I'm enjoying your pain.

And no, I am not a sadist. Just because I like torturing and killing small creatures and people, that doesn't make me a sadist.

For some reason I've failed to convince anyone with this argument. But hey, there's a first for everything. most things. some things. the occasional few and far between things. Finally!

Nailed it on the first shot.

At this point you're probably very confused, and extremely tired of my insanity, as well as immensely annoyed by it. So here, enjoy some peaceful music.

See? I knew after that you'd be able to handle any little insanity of mine.

But just in case that wasn't enough, here's another song.

And no, I didn't make either of these songs. For one, I'm not that talented, for another I'm not that messed up.

Also Tom Lehrer just happens to be dead. But hey, for all you know I might also be dead.

But I don't think all of his songs are that messed up, this one's just an exception.

Right?

There's the song about a nuclear holocaust- Nope.
Or maybe the one about hunting and killing people- also no
But maybe the one about poisoning pigeons-I'm starting to get worried.
Masochism?

Ok, I think we've established something. He is most definitely a psychopath. Unless...

Oh yeah, there's the one about the elements. That one's not psychopathic, it's just weird.

I suppose that's why it's my least favorite.

You definitely have a problem.

And who are you, my psychologist?

Well... Sort of. I'm your inner psychologist.

I have an inner psychologist? Why?

Do I even need to bother answering that question?

Heh. I guess not. But how much am I paying you?

Everything you own

Wait, what? Why would I do tha- Oh. Ok. Ha ha, very funny.

Everything after this point is strictly patient-doctor confidential, and has therefore been removed

Seriously. That's an excellent excuse for being lazy and not creating actual content.

Anyways. I have to go think of poems about frogs...

-hyperbole out