“When life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic”

― Jay McLean, Where the Road Takes Me

Well. I figured tossing in a random quote from someone might give me an idea of where to go from there, but I've got absolutely no idea.

So let's discuss real estate. You know what they say, there's three things to take into account by real estate. Money.

That's it. Ok, that was immensely boring. Now we can move on to realize that my sentences sound kinda short, so I should fix that by writing a total run-on sentence which will seem to go on forever and just won't seem to stop, but will actually just be me messing with you because I enjoy doing things like this because this is interesting even though you're probably bored by now so I should probably stop, but I won't because I tend to be annoying like that and if you haven't tuned me out by this point - WHY?.

Alright. I think that's enough of that. Or is it? You will probably never know.

As you can likely tell, I'm a very boring individual who people like being around because I tend not to talk very much.

Ok, I can't keep a straight face, and I only got through one sentence of that. But one sentence can truly be a lot, as you probably saw above.

Sorry, meant to say "As you probably saw a dove."

I'm not sure what that had to do, with anything, it just seemed to fit, so I stuck it in there.

You may insert an inappropriate joke of your own at any time you feel it's appropriate, which means you probably don't understand English.

Or do I not understand English? Perhaps I'm just tricking you. Maybe I'm just a non-existent monkey, hit random keys on my typewriter until a fish turns into a bird.

Umm. Well that was interesting. You see what comes out of my mouth when I sit in front of a computer screen? Absolutely nothing, I'm just typing this with my hands. I'd say air, but I'm breathing through my nose at the moment, so even that's not true.

But truth is an interesting thing, a concept which bends to each of our perceptions of it. Basically I'm a psychotic liar. Any other questions?

No? I really have to stop asking rhetorical questions.

Or do I?

Ok, that was really bad. Like seriously, really bad. You know there is such a thing as an art to bad jokes, for a joke can be so bad that that itself becomes funny.

I just skip over that process and steemroll the whole thing.

Yeesh. If my steamroller looks like that, I won't be getting very far. Also: when you don't want to accidentally hit the 'o' key instead of the 'i'? When you're typing the word 'thing.' Oops.

Hmm. Should I end this here and make this something short? Is it a problem that a 500 odd word documentary is a short post in my eyes?

Does it confuse you that this post is considered a "documentary" in my eyes? Because it really shouldn't.

Well. When I regress to talking about my post, you know it's a lot better than when I mock the 3 major religion and atheism. That was a problem.

Problems... we all have problems, and I still haven't told you about mine. You see, I am actually a creepy killer clown, and the police are on my tail. They're closing in.

They're Here!!

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