1,000 Words (Day 3)

Writing 1k a day didn’t work out for a few days, mainly because of the influx of scam accounts that warranted in-depth investigating. We’ve got people waiting months for one legit account and spammers and scammers running an operation off 2k of them. Having a laugh at the rest of us. You know what their wallet memo is? Too easy. That’s right. Too easy. Go figure. So that’s that now, that’s why it took a few days for you to read this showstopper.

I’m pretty easy going normally. For the last while – a while that started off as a few days, then weeks and now months, I’ve been tackling the phishing problem. I like to fish. Fishing is one of my favorite things. When I got laid off some years back they asked me what I’m going to do. I said I’m going fishing and that’s what I did the next morning. Phishing is pretty similar to fishing. Except your job is to be the cockblock between the fisherman and the fish. My job is to stop the lure before it gets through. If it should get through and it will, because fish are always biting, especially on those try our service before you buy lures. A value of 0.10 SBD. Free, just for you. Imagine that.

Did you know that you’re our most valued customer and if you click right this minute you’re going to get rich? You better click right this minute, buddy. Wait another minute and you’re screwed. Did you know your post was copied by random asshole? Did you know Jerry wrote this first? And if you don’t believe me, here’s the proof, with a post that starts with “dear”, because we all know that’s how he writes. While you’re researching all that and assimilating that you just landed in the twilight zone equivalent of Steemit, you’re suddenly logged out. Oh snap. You better log back in. Don’t forget your master password. And my job is to prevent you from doing that.

Typically, I fail at my job. The fish takes the bait. You know how that fish feels right at that moment, before taking that bait. Because you really like to click on random empty promises. That’s how you signed up here in the first place. While you click on those promises you lose whatever few cents your otherwise barren wallet holds. Then panic sets in. The fish starts to flail. But the hook is right in the gill and no amount of flailing or swimming side to side or diving or anything for that matter can get it dislodged. This isn’t the cheap dollar store line that will break. This is the pro line. The type that comes with ‘titanium’ written all over the spool.

This becomes a recovery operation at that point. A roll-back or a reel-back, to stay on theme here. To reel itself back into its shitty pond the fish needs to figure out that it’s being reeled out. That’s not that simple. Denial is one of the stages of being dicked over by life. It’s not just a river in Egypt. At the same time, while flailing on its titanium line, it becomes bait itself. So I take that shitty, screwed over fish and poison its scales. Nuke it. Make it toxic. Its reputation gets blown to zero. It goes from piranha to pariah. That stops the other fish who see their buddy being reeled into the Promised Land from following suit. If they do, I don’t mind repeating.

The fish reaches its destined bucket. Right next to that bucket of crabs that never escape. The fish bucket is a little worse than the crab bucket. The fish bucket has a 30 day timer. The crab bucket is eternal. Or until we get out of Beta and into something substantial. Whatever happens first. Escape from that fish bucket depends on that panicking, toxic half-dead fish remembering its original email and figuring out how to submit a form. Sometimes that fails. Sometimes the fish dies. Sometimes it wants to kill itself. Best I can do is give it some moral support and a new body. Unfortunately, the new body has none of the gains of the old body. And a lot of that new car smell that repels all the marine life. If only that 0.10 SBD bait would repel like that. We’d have no problem then.

The deadliest catch processes about 300 fish per phishing session. Figured the session would end after a few days, maybe a week like last time, but it keeps going. I can probably tell you what that is in SBD. The bucket is filled to the top with rotting carcases at this point. You know, the 30 days. The timer ran out. Right around this putrid bucket are a bunch of shit-eating crabs. With their shit grins. They can look over the rim of their bucket.

Some of them don’t realize they’re in a bucket to begin with. Those ones shit grin in the most idiotic way. Most know where they are. The fish bucket is worse than theirs so they’re pretty stoked. Understandably so, particularly since their own is so putrid. But the fish are doing worse so they’re alternating between apathy, morbid curiosity and spite. Can’t say I’d mind throwing a few of them into the fish bucket. Maybe in exchange for a few fish.

This image above is probably Gfrommy's water jug. It’s the closest thing I have to a bucket. Going to attribute it to him because I can’t remember where it came from at this point and there’s no one else who went around taking photos of random crap. As far as I remember, anyways. If he wants to affirm or deny this, he can join the ecosystem here. This jug isn’t that good of a representation. It’s got a lid on it. The real buckets, they don’t need a lid to contain the fish and crabs. They’re that great.

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