How to be a Science Student

"Are you a Science Student?" he asked.

I knew he wasn't asking if I had done Physics, Chemistry, and Biology in secondary school, or if I studied Medicine or Pharmacy or Biochemistry; I knew he asked because of Olamide's recent single - Science Student.

"Do you want to be one?" he asked again

"I do not know how be one."

"OK," he cleared his throat, and spat out a greenish phlegm. "This is how to be one. First, desire to live on cloud nine, always...because this world is not your home. There is a place of inexplicable pleasure beyond this space; a place of epiphany.

"And there are portals to take you to this place - a syrup, a tablet, a capsule. Walk into them armstreched, and feel their essence. Sometimes your heart will revolt, and your breathing laboured. But don't stop.

"For instance, with sea salt, you will feel fly...you will see objects walk, and hear them talk. How then do you want to quell such a feel?

"But there will come a time when just a bottle, tablet, or capsule won't work the magic anymore. Step it up - two, three...ten. Whatever you can to get that feel, just do it. You will look shrivel and unkempt, but do not care about what people say. Please yourself. Tattoo your skin with syringes, plaster your gut with tablets, and dampen it with syrup.

"Remain oblivious to the devil dancing shaku shaku in your body; how his two legs slide sideways tugging at your kidneys. He bounces occasionally and reaches for your brain, Shoki style. Before finally squatting, his right leg twirling, to pull with his right hand the remains of your liver. "