The man who was going to mind the house

There was once upon a time a man who was always cross and surly, and he was always telling his wife that she didn't do enough work in the house. So one evening in the hay-making time he came home and began to scold and swear all over the house. "Dear me, don't get into such a temper." said the wife; "tomorrow we will try and change our work. I'll go with the mowers and mow the hay, and you can stop at home and mind the house. "Yes, the husband rather liked that, and he was quite willing for his part. Early next morning the wife took a scythe on her shoulder, and went out in the fields with the hay-mowers to mow. But the man was to do the work in the house.

He thought he would churn the butter first of all, but when he had churned a while, he became thirsty and went down into the cellar to draw some beer. While he was busy filling the bowl, he heard that the pig had gotten into the room above. Away he ran up the cellar stairs with the tap in his hand, just to see the pig didn't upset the churn, but when he saw that the pig had already knocked the churn over, and stood there licking up the fine cream, which was running over the floor, he got so furiously wild that he forgot the beer-barrel and turned round on the pig. He got hold of it in the doorway and gave it such a tremendous kick , that it killed the poor pig on the spot. All at once, he remembered the tap he had in his hand, but when he went down into the cellar, all the beer had run out of the barrel.

He then went down into the larder, and found cream enough to fill the churn again, and so he commenced churning once more, for butter he would have by dinner-time. When he had churned some time he recollected that the cow, which they kept at home, hadn't been let out of the cow-house, and hadn't had a straw of hay or anything to drink, although it was late in the day. He thought it was too far to take the cow to the field where she generally grazed, so it struck him he would put her on the roof; the cottage had a turf-roof, and there was a splendid crop of grass growing there. The cottage lay close to a steep little hill, and if he placed a plank between this and the roof, he thought he could easily get the cow up there. But he could not leave the churn very well, because the baby was crawling about on the floor and he thought the child might easily upset it.

He took therefore the churn on his back and went out, but he thought he had better water the cow first, before he put her on the roof. So he took a bucket to get some water from the well; but as he stooped down to pull the bucket up, all the cream ran out of the churn and down his neck and down into the well. It would soon be dinner-time, and still he hadn't got any butter, so he thought he had better boil the porridge for dinner, and hung a pot with water over the fire. When he had done this, he began to feel afraid that the cow might fall off the roof and break her legs or neck, so he went up on the roof to tie her up. The one end of the rope he tied around the neck of the cow, and the other he let down the chimney and tied around his leg as he came down, for the water was boiling already, and he must put the oatmeal in and begin to make the porridge. While he was stirring it, the cow fell off the roof and dragged the man up the chimney by the rope which was tied to his leg; there he stuck, and the cow hung outside against the wall between heaven and earth, for she could neither get up nor down.

The wife had waited in seven lengths and seven breadths for her husband to come and call the people home to dinner; but she saw no sign of him, so she thought at last she would wait no longer, but go home. When she saw the cow hanging so awkwardly, she went at once and cut the rope with her scythe, but at the same moment her husband came down the chimney, and when the wife went inside he was standing on his head in the porridge pot.