Flirting

What is flirting?

Some people think of flirting as conveying the impression through words or actions that you are romantically interested in a person of the opposite sex. Is it wrong to show that you are romantically interested in someone? Not necessarily. “If you’re in a position to date and you’re interested in someone,” says a young woman named Ann, “how else can you find out if the feeling is mutual?”

In this article, however, we will discuss the kind of flirting that involves acting as if you have a romantic interest in someone when you have no serious intent.

“It’s one thing to pay special attention to someone because you want to start a romantic relationship. It’s a different matter to lead someone on and then pull the rug out from under him because you were never really serious.”​—Deanna.

Why do some people do it?

Some people flirt just to boost their ego. “When you realize you can attract that kind of attention, you may want more of it,” says a young woman named Hailey.

But if you intentionally give the impression that you have romantic interest in someone when in fact you do not, you show a callous disregard for the other person’s feelings. You also call into question your judgment.

For good reason, Hailey concludes, “Flirting may begin harmlessly, but it often ends dangerously.”

What are the dangers?

Flirting hurts your reputation.

“A person who flirts comes across as insecure and immature. You feel that she is not being honest with you but is only trying to get something out of you.”​—Jeremy.

To think about: What kind of words or actions could cause you to gain a reputation as a flirt?

Flirting hurts the person you flirt with.

“If I meet someone who is flirty, it makes me not want to be around him. It’s as if the only reason he’s talking to me is because I’m a girl. People who flirt don’t really care about me; they only care about making themselves feel better.”​—Jaqueline.

To think about: Have you ever been led to believe that someone had a romantic interest in you, only to find out that you were wrong? If so, how did you feel afterward? How can you avoid hurting someone else in that way?

Flirting hurts your prospects for genuine romance.

“A flirt would be a totally undesirable person to marry or even to date. How could I really get to know or trust someone if he is just putting on an act?”​—Olivia.

To think about: What kind of person does a flirt appeal to? Is that the kind of person you want to attract?