SHORT SCREENPLAY "3am"

in #writing7 years ago (edited)

Here is a short screenplay titled "3am" that I wrote back in 2013. After trying to get it made into a film I shelved it and decided to move on to other things. So I figured, why not post it here and who knows? Maybe it'll get made someday. I've also included a preliminary sketch of a comics strip of the story, below the script.

It will be interesting to see how people respond to reading a screenplay in this form. I think as long as it's written visually, something like this can work.

Homage credit to Maxell Tapes.




3 A.M.

INT. BEDROOM - EARLY MORNING

A bedside table lamp switches on, showing DWIGHT in his bed, hand outstretched to the lamp. He pulls himself up to a sitting position and slumps forward, staring at the floor. After a moment his eyes turn up to the door. He stares intensely at the door for several seconds, then rises to his feet and reaches for his night coat that is draped over a nearby chair.
In the bed next to where Dwight has been sleeping, MELANIE rises up from her pillow and watches her husband as he puts on his night coat. She pulls out a pair of earplugs.

MELANIE

Honey? Don’t the earplugs work?

DWIGHT

No.

Dwight leaves the bedroom. Melanie watches the door after him, then looks down at her own earplugs in her hands.

INT. LIVING ROOM - EARLY MORNING
Dwight’s slippered feet descend the stairs leading into the living room. He stops at the bottom of the stairs and peers into the shadows of the house.

DWIGHT

Okay... Okay.

Dwight walks over to a wall unit near the stairs. From a drawer he pulls out a conductor’s baton. He then steps further into the room, approaching the shadows.

Dwight takes in a deep breath and faces the room. His shoulders slump, and his eyes glimmer with the verge of tears.
Then he straightens up. He lifts the baton and taps it sharply, twice against an end table.

DWIGHT

So let’s take it from the top,

shall we?

Dwight lifts his shoulders broadly, raises his arms and begins to conduct. His hands move in slow, sweeping gestures. The baton dances lightly in the darkness.

FADE IN:
From the shadows at the other end of the room a vibration begins to stir. The window curtains start to ripple slightly. The lamp on the end table has a shade that begins to sway back and forth, slowly.

Dwight continues to conduct. A gradual, spreading grimace twists across his features. His hands begin to move faster.

The vibrations increase. A tremor grows in the floorboards of the living room. Next to the window, a potted tree starts shedding leaves that dance as though on a breeze. Dwight’s eyes squeeze out tears that cast rippling tracks down his face. His hands are flying before him in a blur. The baton slices the air like a sword.

The curtains billow violently. The lamp shade twists. Leaves soar and spin in distorting patterns around the room.

On the wall behind Dwight there is a framed picture. It is a photograph of an orchestra. The glass shimmers and blinds the image, then settles, revealing the musicians smiling behind their instruments, with their conductor seated front and centre. Then another surge of sound shimmers the glass into obscurity again.

Dwight’s face is screwed up into a mask of pain, his eyes squeezed shut, his teeth biting his bottom lip hard enough to draw blood. He raises his hands stretched high to the ceiling, then abruptly drops his arms to his sides . All of the activity in the room freezes in midair around him.

Suddenly the picture on the wall falls off of it’s hook and crashes to the floor.

INT. BEDROOM - MORNING
Melanie awakens from a fitful sleep to find Dwight’s side of the bed empty. She sits up and hears a sound from the hall.
Resignedly, she rises from bed and puts on her own house coat.

INT. HALLWAY - MORNING
Melanie emerges from the bedroom into the hallway. The sound is coming from a room down the hall - Dwight’s den. Melanie casts a wary glance down the stairs, then turns and makes her way towards the den.

INT. DEN - MORNING
Melanie steps into the doorway and sees Dwight working at his table. She moves carefully into the room and puts a hand on his shoulder.
Dwight is re-framing the photograph that had fallen off the wall.
The old frame with it’s broken glass lies in a waste bin next to the table. On the table is a stack of unused frames, all the same size and features.

MELANIE

Hi...

Dwight glances up as though noticing Melanie for the first time. He looks at her with a lost faraway expression.

DWIGHT

I... I have to fix the picture.

MELANIE

I know.

Duncan looks down at the picture in his hands. The orchestra smiles up at him, including his own smiling face, in the centre of the group.

DWIGHT

I have to put it back up on the

wall.

Melanie reaches down and gently takes the picture from Dwight’s hands.

MELANIE

It’s okay, honey. I’ll take care of

it. You should get some sleep.

Dwight looks back and forth from the picture to his wife, uncertain and close to panicking, but also very tired.

DWIGHT

Are you sure? It... It has to go

back up on the wall.

MELANIE

Yes, I know. I understand. I

promise, I’ll take care of it.

Melanie places the picture on the table and guides Dwight up from his chair. The couple walk towards the door.

MELANIE

I’ll take care of it, honey. You

just need to get some sleep.

DWIGHT

Yes...

As Melanie and Dwight move to the door they pass a second, smaller table.

Sitting on the centre of the table, exactly centred like a shrine, is a newspaper, turned and folded so that the headline is showing.

The headline reads:
LOCAL ORCHESTRA DIES IN PLANE CRASH

Beneath the headline is the same picture of the orchestra. Beneath this picture is a smaller picture, a blowup of Dwight’s smiling face from the first photo, and beneath this picture is the sub headline:
CONDUCTOR MISSED FLIGHT

Melanie guides Dwight through the door.

DWIGHT

Get some sleep...

FADE TO BLACK.

3am.jpeg
Initially this was going to be a comic strip... There was a period where the above sketch was how I did all my writing - then I switched to a more formal screenplay format. You may notice that in the comic I was going to have the character sit in a chair, under the power of the ghost orchestra. This was changed because it would be less dramatic visually to the story, but also it would bear too much resemblance to the classic Maxell commercial that inspired part of this tale.
It's interesting how in an effort to set the work apart from it's derivative one can end up producing a better overall result.
So would you like to see a comic strip of this story, or a film? How about both?

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Bravo.

This short little screenplay is very well-done. I think I can imagine it more as a short film rather than a comic strip.

I like how for a while, it leaves the viewer wondering what is happening, and then the revelation comes at the end. I enjoyed this post tremendously.

Also, I want to extend an invitation to join the Unmentionables to you. You filled out an application a while back, and we're happy to invite you to our Discord server! If you're on Steemit.chat or Discord, send a message to ethandsmith and I'll get you the invite link!

I personally hope you'll continue to produce masterful content like this, because you will add value to our group! I hope to hear from you soon!

Thanks very much for your kind words Ethan. So far I'm not on either of those platforms; if I can be in the group through Steemit.chat that might be what I'll do. Still figuring out the technical side of things a bit. Either way I'm happy to get involved.

So our group lives on Discord, so you'd have to create an account there. There are many groups across Steemit that use Discord, so it might be a valuable tool to work into your knowledge-set.

You're very welcome. I did enjoy reading this post, so I'm hopeful that you'll join our group and create more great things like this!

Turns my crappy old laptop can't upgrade to the system requirements for Discord; I wish I'd known that when I filled out the form. I'm afraid it'll have to wait for a reinvestment on my part. :/ But I do look forward to joining with all of you once I get my tech together.

This was great. Well done. If you feel the urge, please drop by The Writers' Block. We have a screen writing channel there that would love to have you I bet. https://discord.gg/gAGCQe

Thanks kindly. I will be sure to check out your channel.

Hi, unfortunately after checking the system requirements for Discord's site I've found that the OS required is too new for my old computer that I'm stuck with for the time being. I do appreciate the invite, and once I get a new computer I can go ahead with it.

I've noticed some issues getting people to actually read my play. Maybe I should start a group that promotes each other's writing. Like, "I'll read yours if you read mine" :P

I checked your profile and saw that you had posted your play as a link. My advice is to just post the play directly on Steemit.

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