I can relate to a-lot of thought provoking moments that your post has touched on and i too have things in my life that give me a flight or fight moment. I think i get this from my mother as she was and still is searching for that one thing in her life that will set her free from her shackles that only she created herself. You could say it hereditary.
Thing is my mother did teach me one thing and that was to never live my life with regret like she has.
So take hold of what you have and make it better, don't just dismiss something and try to get away from it because at the end of the day it's only you that can change the direction of your life not life itself.

KEEP STEEMING