(Fiction) Applying For A Tenancy In The Near Future
Dear Miss Davidson,
We regret to inform you that your Application To Rent has been declined. Please see below for further details.
General Hygiene: 40/100
Hobbies & Habits: 33/100
Personal Health: 56/100
Politics & Personality: 42/100
Results: Deny Lease
Notes: Blacklist Type 5, Global Flag Tier 2
Takeaways. Given your frequency of large pizza orders (average 2 per week), combined with regular weekend group orders (app history shows up to 7-way payment splits), your scores for both Personal Health and General Hygiene have been negatively affected. We are particularly vigilant with regard to waste disposal, as keeping this to a minimum achieves a more positive overall council score for our entire building.
Electronics. Orders of circuit boards and related parts lead us to believe you engage in soldering, welding, and general computer-based construction, which do not bode well for your Hobbies & Habits rating. We strive to keep our building free of electric/gas anomalies and fire hazards. Research also suggests that soldering creates an unpleasant smell that may upset neighbours.
Music. While you have stated you own no prohibited musical instruments at this time, you do subscribe to several music-related tutorial websites and forums, which could indicate future interest in learning. Specifically, your public Spotify playlists are majority "death metal" based, with sections dedicated to advanced drumming mechanics. Pianos and guitars are exempt providing they have a permanent headphone attachment, but drums are forbidden.
Media consumption. Your viewing history is predominantly centred around political documentaries and shows depicting contentious world issues. You have no record of viewing any of the most popular content from the past two years on Netflix or Amazon Prime, nor are you subscribed to any news outlet from our favoured list. This is of particular concern as we do not wish to cause unnecessary schisms or heated debates between tenants in close proximity to each other. We currently have no other property location available which provides an acceptable synergy with your political leanings.
Health. Your Global Health Score is acceptable by normal metrics, but our algorithm adds more weight to issues which may affect the integrity of the property and surrounding buildings. Your sleep tracking and Smart Mattress data has detected frequent snoring and nighttime bathroom trips, which produces unwanted noise and may raise the anxiety levels of our other tenants. Medical records show repeat prescription anti-depressants, and while we are happy you're receiving care, we cannot risk suicide occurring in our properties.
Crime. While you have no criminal record, data provided in conjunction with the National Data Analytics Solution has flagged you as scoring high for potential future criminal activity. As a precaution, anyone scoring above 60 in this data set must have their overall Personality & Risk score reduced.
Social media. The image analysis report displays concerning percentages, especially with regard to your lack of family photos and fascination with "moody", "aesthetic" selfies. Appearance and style do not match with our preferences. Furthermore, your connected network of peers and acquaintances has raised several flags, though we cannot disclose more information as that would violate the privacy of several parties connected to you and bias future reports.
We wish you the best of luck in securing a renting opportunity elsewhere.
Hope you have a lovely weekend.
Senior Estate Agent
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