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RE: Poetry Editing 101: Session Five – Q&A
Think of it all as advice rather than dos and don'ts. Feel free to take as much or as little of it as you please.
I'm glad you enjoyed the poem. I love the way the persona uses pronouns to describe his son in the opening lines to distance himself from the pain of what's going on.
This bit got me :(
And then slowly the eye stopped looking
Inward. The silence rose and became still.
The look turned to the outer place and stopped.
With the birds still shrilling around him.
And as if he could speak
He turned over on his side with his one year
Red as a wound
He turned over as if he could be sorry for this
And out of his eyes two great tears rolled, like stones,
And he died.