The One Exception: Chapter 15 'Disrespect & Insubordination'

A week prior to the latest ‘one exception’ eruption, I printed 2 sets of a legal document & gave the ‘one exception’ instructions on what needed to be done with the documents. Now the instructions required that 4 sets of this document be mailed; 2 via certified return receipt & 2 via regular first class mail per the company’s legal advice.

Fast forward to this week & the ‘one exception’ stops me to ask what she was to do with the documents. Again, I patiently explained what needed to be done & that she needed to make 2 additional copies. To which the ‘one exception’ pronounced that she was very busy & will get to it when she gets time. My response was ‘fine’, I didn’t want to engage further & left. Later, I get a terse email requesting that I email the entire file to her in order that she could print the documents. After taking a few deep breaths, I decided to print the email & take it to my boss for his counsel on how to handle this situation…

At this point, let’s pause… as a manager, I could have simply said, no, please copy the documents you already have… But due to the explosive, seemingly bulletproof nature of the ‘one exception’ I requested the advice of my boss. After discussing it with him & having him agree with my assessment that she shouldn’t be making this an issue. I decided to ask him not to get involved & that I would handle it. So… I approach the ‘one exception’ and ask her if there was a problem with carrying out the original instructions given. To which she proceeded to protest having to use the copying machine & would prefer to for me to email the documents to her so she could simply print them… I’m going to call this a demand because her protestations about copying became progressively louder in the office.

Here is where, in the opinion of my boss, I erred.

I decided to simply make the copies myself then placed them her desk. A process that took 3 minutes at most. I did this to shut her up, but threw away an opportunity, in his assessment, to ask her if she was refusing to do as I asked & to tell her to work as directed. Now the reader must understand that throughout this ‘engagement’ with the ‘one exception’, my boss was in the office next door and could hear everything. In his opinion, I essentially appeased the ‘one exception’… now I’m an enabler. Again, my boss was present for the entire ‘engagement’. Remember now, the is the same boss that instructed me to appease to have 'peace on earth'. The mixed message remains an issue with me.

Within the same week, here comes the second instance, rather ‘engagement’… again with the boss in the office to witness to encounter… the ‘one exception’ calls on the office phone & requests that she be advised of the schedule for vessel arrival to which I say ‘Okay’.

Fast forward… A loudly chastising voice from across the office, in a disrespectful tone, in the presence of everyone in the office, including my boss is highly perturbed that I am not informing her of information she is requesting… I considered this conduct over the top. I didn’t respond because nothing good would come of it in my thought process, so I turned to my computer & commenced to type a letter of warning. Now at this point, I will revert back to the point in time that triggered this chastising outburst by the ‘one exception’.

We have an unusual schedule due to holidays & the government personnel not being available as needed. There is a published schedule which the ‘one exception’ could have used for her information, but I now need to break from my normal routine to provide her with information. There are 2 key people, in the process of providing schedule information to the relevant government authorities… both of whom I contact first to advise on what I know, but before I can hang up the phone from my conversation with the second person… the very vocal office chastising commenced… I’ve somehow slighted the ‘one exception’ even before I can get a chance to communicate to what is the lowest priority for this information, the ‘one exception’.

So I write the letter of warning documenting the two instances in one week & sent it via email for my boss’s review… what comes next is interesting, because I find myself having to defend what I’ve relayed to my boss because in his estimation, HR will parse the term insubordination & place me on the defensive… especially in encounter #1 where I appeased 'the one exception' rather than ask her to work as directed. Further, he considers what she did to be simply asking a question & insubordination was too strong a term that SHE, the ‘one exception’ would object to… now I’m thinking… HUH?! In my assessment, the entire delaying action WAS insubordination & while I could have directed her to make the copies, I elected to opt for ‘peace on earth’… now he said he was in agreement about the second encounter, but I still had to defend against something he witnesses first hand… perplexed & dumbfounded understates my feelings at this juncture. Of course, I understand the desire to avoid conflict in the office, but at the same time when will anything stick to the ‘one exception’? I withdrew the letter of warning… my reasons are simple… I’m going to have to ‘solve the problem’ another way.