Deflated

in #writing7 years ago (edited)

Deflated

original poetry &
philosophical writing


467_to_absolution_by_xn3ctz-d2cov8b.jpg


467_to_absolution_by_xn3ctz-d2cov8b (2).jpg

Reading notes:

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The piece is an example of sustaining a metaphor at length (likening oneself to a burst balloon.) This is not the focus but provides continuity through what is rather experimental in form and content. I enjoy writing poetry in free-formatting, which provides another element of expression and discourages wordiness. I generally only use it when writing by hand. I then imitate the formatting the best I can using the   tag. As per a recent request, I will leave the images of the original written copy below. I will also display the poem in two ways, with images inserted, and plain.

pageone-deflated-darkened.jpg

twopage-deflated-darkened.jpg

Ideas/feelings explored

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Again we are faced with an interesting paradox and playing with archetypes. Typically, deflation means discouragement, disappointment, depression, etc. and has a rather negative connotation. However, it can also signal freedom from an overinflated ego! The feeling of being busted, slimmed down, less dense, insignificant (in the most neutral and profound sense) is something of a rite of passage. It has to do with the transition from the inherent self-centeredness (even narcicissm!) of youth into the "content insignificance" of maturity.
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It also expresses moments of feeling untethered to flesh, being a vague and subtle "somethingness." It explores the idea of losing something which was actually nothing and becoming so thin that one begins to feel one is slipping into another dimension. It questions the line between flesh and inert material and expresses the feeling of having everything living stripped away in a sort of numb bliss and continuing to rise regardless. This is of course humorous, if one is a busted balloon. How could one then rise?
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It asks whether events in the past, and the person one was before, were actually real at all. In a double entendre, it also asks if one was ever really taught anything at all, because in some ways knowledge seems to be unbegotten. Exploring the paradox of being burst and laying lifeless, but somehow having the feeling of flying. Being fully exposed but still unable to be interpreted except through the experience of simply being without concept. Finally we close by declaring the self shrunk, but not in defeat but rather triumph! We have minimized the illusion. The mediocrity has become profound. The foibles have become purified by our acceptance of them.

467_to_absolution_by_xn3ctz-d2cov8b (1).jpgalmost_by_catharsisjb-d3lo0is (1).jpg

Stanza-by-stanza notes:


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Stanza one (Unfurled mammal...)

Balanced precariously between the concrete and the subtle. Fantasy balloons being popped by reality. Becoming disillusioned while still young. Yearning to become a sanctuary for life in its exquisite delicacy.
Stanza two (a lonely sufficiency...)

Radical vulnerability. Paradox of loss of something that was actually nothing. The feeling of melting through this dimension.

Stanza three (Expired but still rising...)

Accepting the inevitable death of the physical while asserting the expansion of the nonphysical (rising while rotting.) Stoicism through the shock of finding oneself to be quite plain and seeing beauty therein. Playing off the breakdown of the word sub-stance, the feeling of sinking (while rising?) Feeling reduced to the brutal mechanism of genetics.

Stanza four (Was I ever taut?)

The past self and memories feel very distant. What was one before and from whence came all these concepts? Laying here with thought totally obliterated, being unthinkable. The feeling of flying while stationary, being a total open book yet still unscrutable. Being stretchy like latex yet ripped, shrunken, inert. An uncomfortable feeling, unresolved: there is more, unknown, that is yet to come.

almost_by_catharsisjb-d3lo0is (2).jpg


almost_by_catharsisjb-d3lo0is.jpg


Deflated


                                                                     Unfurled mammal
                                                                  like a granite
                                                                              bloom at dawn

I am burst latex.
depressurized,                                         
an empty egg sac                                            
          a gourd                              (still on the stalk)
become hollow                                 
a vase filled up with rain    
(made from vines)          
                 where crickets bathe.
.
a lonely sufficiency                                                      
                                                            airless
a burst balloon                    
                                                                          timid child of
                                                                  mountain dreams
my emptiness burst,                                                      
and I became sparse                                          
                                                   (unviscous, vague
                                                   romantic)
like thin paint                                        
melting through                       
the pores of                 
   this dimension.

Expired but still rising
past putrefaction                                                         
devoured by microbes                                   
                                                     stoic detritus,
                                                 grand with decadence,
                                               shy imperfection of hope
I am busted.
      
substance that sinks                       

                                                                 lower

                          lower

          into low resolution

(pixellated punnet square.)                                    
.
Was I ever taut?
                                       laying here
unknowing                                                                   
                                                                       unknowable
in unstretched                                                    
space                                                              
                            flying here
transparent                                                                    
                                         exposed
unreadable                                                       
       flexible
ripped                                                  
illegible      
shrunk.                                  


almost_by_catharsisjb-d3lo0is (3).jpg


Deflated

(with images)

                                                                     Unfurled mammal
                                                                  like a granite
                                                                              bloom at dawn

I am burst latex.
depressurized,                                         
an empty egg sac                                            
          a gourd                              (still on the stalk)
become hollow                                 
a vase filled up with rain    
(made from vines)          
                 where crickets bathe.

full_bloom_detail_by_daverichardsonart-d5laa1v.jpg

a lonely sufficiency                                                      
                                                            airless
a burst balloon                    
                                                                          timid child of
                                                                  mountain dreams
my emptiness burst,                                                      
and I became sparse                                          
                                                   (unviscous, vague
                                                   romantic)
like thin paint                                        
melting through                       
the pores of                 
   this dimension.

air_balloons_by_frostwindz-d7uksag.jpg

Expired but still rising
past putrefaction                                                         
devoured by microbes                                   
                                                     stoic detritus,
                                                 grand with decadence,
                                               shy imperfection of hope
I am busted.
      
substance that sinks                       

                                                                 lower

                          lower

          into low resolution

(pixellated punnet square.)                                    

deflated_by_miss_tbones.jpg

Was I ever taut?
                                       laying here
unknowing                                                                   
                                                                       unknowable
in unstretched                                                    
space                                                              
                            flying here
transparent                                                                    
                                         exposed
unreadable                                                       
       flexible
ripped                                                  
illegible      
shrunk.                                  

deflated_by_joshuagoymer-d9kaupp.jpg


5b01783c66038ef6 (1).jpgdeflated_by_joshuagoymer-d9kaupp (2).jpg5b01783c66038ef6 (3).jpg

Written by @d-pend
12/26/17
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Image credits

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1 – "467 to absolution" by xn3ctz
2 & 3 – "Deflation photographed" by d-pend
4 & 5 – "Almost" by CatharsisJB
6 – "Full Bloom Detail" by Dave Richardson
7 – "Hot Air Balloons" by Frostwindz
8 – "Deflated" by Miss-Tbones
9 – "Deflated" by Joshua Goymer
10 – "Balloon" by Sampok


5b01783c66038ef6 (4).jpgdeflated_by_joshuagoymer-d9kaupp (1).jpg5b01783c66038ef6 (2).jpg


5b01783c66038ef6.jpg

Sort:  

Beautiful! Simply poetic. I really like your formatting and the depth you go into to explain the nature of your poetry. Were the events that happened in the past and the person one was even real? That is an excellent question to ask. The past tends to seem unreal for many reasons. Sometimes we fail to accept that which we did or that which happened to us, or ae try to forget the person we were. In both cases I’d say accepting the past and learning from the experiences is the way to grow and not dwell on the dead past. The line ’timid child of mountain dreams’ really appealed to me. I also wish to comment on the main object in this poem, the deflated balloon. Balloons are very significant and often appear, well they used to more in the past, in my poetry. I even got a balloon tattooed onto my hand, and your usage of that metaphor didn’t fail to impress me in the slightest! Keep up the great work on here! You are one of the poets on here that is making this community what it is and witjout you it wouldn’t be the same!

Wow @lukakorba I'm really grateful for your insight and kind words. I'm also really happy the piece resonated with you. What you mentioned about processing the past and moving forward is spot on. I had no idea that the image of a balloon was so significant to you! Could you share a couple links of pieces where they appeared in your poetry? Thanks once again for your words of encouragement my friend :)

Thank you so much! I saw your comment earlier on today, but am only replying now as I went through my blog and found it difficult to locate those poems due to the amount of content on there, and thus I made a new post in which I explain what balloons mean to me in my poetry. I also showed some examples of poems in which I mention them. I hope that this post answers any questions you have and is enjoyable for you to read. Oh, and you're welcome my friend! Thank you for everything!

great art u have awesome poetry like to read your post.

Daniel, first of all, I want to thank you for the present you have made for me!! It was very unexpectable and very sweet! I adore surprises and I was happy like a child-)) I appreciate your attention so much) and of course I wish you all the best in the coming year!More success in your creativity and more chances to see new colors of life.

To tell you the truth, this piece of your art wasn't easy for me..)I think it's not easy for anybody..I reread it several times, and again your explanations and notes helped to get the idea better. You have touched a very deep philosophical topic but I like to make brainstorms so it was great for me.

Your handwriting is very specific and very "deep". I know only I man except of you who has such a type of handwriting, it's my brother. And handwriting characterizes a person very brightly if there're skills to "read" it) At first your voice, then your manner of writing...you open yourself by pieces and it saves great intrigue-)

and the last one (sorry to make you spend much time on me-))
I have a suggestion to you) I have a friend who produces mobile apps (games), and he's seeking for a composer now to make a melody for his new game, it must smth light, easy to listen and pleasant, just a background for a game process. I am in love with your last melody so I have an idea to make this offer. If you're interested, we can discuss details)

You're very welcome :-D I agree that this piece is a little tougher to digest. It was for me to write, as well. I'm quite fond of writing by hand, but also enjoy writing with the keyboard. They bring different feelings forward. As for your offer about writing a melody, I might be interested! Message me in Steemit.chat or on Discord (I am @d-pend#5693) about the details :)

ok! I'll write soon)

You are the best teacher of poetry, you explain the essence of emotional touch. Handwriting is the best way to connect with the energy of the universe. You always give us new moments of deep thoughts through dualism, paradox, and mystical abstraction. I think that I understand you, every time I start from the beginning to learn a new dimension of poetry. Thank you for that my honest friend @d-pend

He has good work excellent recommendation @dobartim recommended me to see your work and i can see why. Excellent text and very creative wirk. Thank you @dobatim for refering me to his work.

"my emptiness burst"

"Expired but still rising
past putrefaction
devoured by microbes"

"I am busted."

My friend, when I see a deflated balloon all I can think of is farting noises. You have gone to another dimension and took us with you. The poem is significant and timely. There is too much talk these days of a crypto bubble ignoring the hubris bubble. I am glad for you because anytime we are as this low as this balloon we will rise again.

Hahaha! Great comment @mineopoly. You really know how to lighten the mood! And of course you always manage to parse your wonderful insight into a few words of precision. For that, I'm grateful!

Beautiful ⭐️ I admire your work ethic, these poems are structured perfectly so the audience can feel the poetry with the words + imagery ! Thank You

A place along the way I guess.

Recently I feel defeated in my career.... other employees poking with Metaphorical needles ..., and it is my responsibility to keep adding air as the take it out. Complaining about not getting off the ground, leave your personality and baggage at home...

Thanks. Upvoted!

Wow @briandenver I'm sorry to hear of your plight... you know what they say, "the ones that can handle it are the ones who shoulder the most responsibility." I am glad that the piece had some personal meaning for you, though, and wish you all the best.

@d-pend - Amazing piece of writing, form and visual art - all in one. I totally agree that sometimes, feeling deflated may be good to get away from over inflated ego. I have experienced this in life and some deflation made me a humbler person with my feet on ground. I could use that to take off again and soar to new heights. Thanks
Upvoted full through Steemfollower.
Regards,

@vm2904

I like it. Some nice insight into the process, some knowledge I can take away and apply to my own writing, some added dimension to your overall presentation... some nice goodies I can grab onto and use to be able to experience the actual poem more deeply... Upped.

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