90 Day challenge - Of course I'm right ... or am I? You tell me- Day 7

We’ve all been there, a situation arises where two or more conflicting perspectives present themselves and someone takes offense. Each party sees the sequence of events in a totally different light and believes that what they see is the truth or common sense. Feathers can be smoothed over if the offended party’s perspective is validated or they are gently brought around to recognizing the validity of the other participant’s perspectives. But honestly, how often does that truly happen? We do see it on a few family or Hallmark television shows, but I can admit it hasn’t been my go to response. Often it’s a toss up between screaming like a banshee, getting emotional with the end result being a dramatic ugly cry or remaining quiet in fear of either of those horrific outcomes. I haven’t handled confrontation well in the past and I want to be better at this.

So I thought we could help each other by giving our perspectives on a true scenario. I will give you the facts and you tell me what you see:

Did someone cross the line?
How did they cross the line?
What should be done and why?

Here is the scenario:

A husband and wife buy an older house that needs some renovations. The wife has made the outside landscaping her focus. On the side property was a dogwood tree that had branches that hung quite far into the street. This tree did not come under the wife’s radar until the city left a notice that brought attention to limbs that grew too close to the power lines. The wife called the number on the notice and talked to the arborist who stated that he would be coming by to look at the tree for limb removal. During that conversation an understanding would be made that she would mark the limbs she wanted to have removed with colored yarn. The wife advised the husband of the interaction and “marked” the limbs. The arborists came by to inspect the limbs and the wife was told that the majority of the limbs were the homeowner’s responsibility to remove. The city workers later in the month but only took off a fraction of the limbs and didn’t even touch the ones she marked. The wife informed the husband what the arborist said but forgot to tell the husband the city workers came by. The husband stated that a chain saw may not be needed for he had a saw in the shed that could possibly do the job.

The wife decided to gather information on the safest removal method of the limbs without breaking the bank. She was told by the arborist and two other reputable sources that the tree limbs needed to be cut from the bottom first to prevent damage. The wife purchased a special pruning blade to use with their reciprocating saw in preparation for doing the task herself.

Next to a couple lives an 80 year old woman who lives with her son. The wife and the woman went on a walk one morning and the wife shared with the neighbor her design ideas for that side of the house. In passing, it was mentioned from the neighbor that the son may have access to a chain saw. His friend used to have one and that she would ask her son on the status of the tool. The wife stated that she would love to hear more information about the saw and to keep her posted.

Later that evening, the husband came home to the sound of a chain saw in the back yard. He immediately contacted via text his wife at work to inform her what was happening. The wife acknowledged knowing about the potential of the man coming to use the chainsaw on the tree but denied knowing particulars like the date and time of the action. The wife was expecting more information and a conversation regarding what was to be done. The husband got upset for not being informed of the action and the wife going behind his back to get the work done. He did not supervise the man cutting the tree nor did he stop the action. When the wife came home from work there were heated words concerning this between the couple.

The next morning the wife went to look at the tree and the work that was done. The man who came to cut the tree did not cut the limbs from the bottom, there were jagged edges left and one of the limbs was damaged. The work area was also covered in sawdust. The wife approached the neighbour and asked if her son’s friend expected any kind of payment. The neighbour stated that he did and she had already paid him $35 for the service. Should she pay it?

Looking forward to hearing all your perspectives.