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RE: Creative Writing – 'Is That ... Your Man?'
This story captivates you even though it is set in every-day circumstances. The language flows naturally and the conversations do not seem forced. The attention to detail is excellent.The little bit that was missed was the ''accident''. It left me asking: what exactly happened. But in the end it did not impair the story at all. Great job!
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Thank you so much, @celfmagazine. 😃 It is amazing to know that I was curated!
With regard to the accident, I feel that Derek had a moment where he suddenly thought of Anne Marie, felt very faint and ended up falling down. I wrote it from his point of view - where he was disorientated, confused and didn't really understand what had just happened - because I've had a similar moment of suddenly feeling very weak and ill at a time of huge grief in my life: I didn't fall over, but it was a strange experience of blanking out all of a sudden, and not understanding what had just happened afterwards. It's a strange thing to try and put it into words, I guess, but I do want to try and think about how to make that moment feel a bit clearer for readers. Thank you again for the feedback. 😊
It all makes sense now! I guessed it was that but was not completely sure. It is the issue, isn't it? To find a way to deliver the story without telling it. I think most got it, I was just a little confused, thank you for the explanation :)
No problem. 😊 I'm glad you enjoyed the story, anyway!