What I learned from writers block.

I write for a living. My penname and books don’t matter. I’m not here to sell them. The entire year of 2016 I suffered the worst case of writers block. Complete and total shutdown of words, ideas and creative thoughts. All of my other creative hobbies suffered, too. My braided rugs turned out lumpy and uneven, my floral arrangements looked like floral disasters. I began making beaded jewelry and my pieces turned out looking like something a preschooler would proudly present to their parent. I became depressed and sought out a reiki healer/therapist to unravel myself. I really couldn’t understand why this was happening. I was nearly three years into my astrological studies, I was happier than ever with it and I was getting good at timing my own life events for more fortunate outcomes. My first reiki session went something like this. I walked in and shortly after introducing myself, I began sobbing. I normally don’t cry but this space felt so safe and loving. Then I threw myself on her table, closed my eyes and said, “Fix me!” I have to laugh about it now. That’s not how it works. Reiki didn’t fix my writers block. It did so much more. It opened me up to an entire new world of possibilities for myself. It took the pressure off. I felt like a deflated tire when I left and that emptiness left space for something new to come in. I began to think my writing career was over and I was very lost, not knowing what I’d do with myself. (Capricorn North Node. I. Must. Work.) I wasn’t yet confident enough to start doing astrology for other people, especially when I couldn’t identify the wrench in the wheel of my own chart. Then it hit me. Saturn had just crossed my midheaven. That is supposed to be a time of great achievement and recognition. A pinnacle of all your hard work. I had a few boosts and a moment of spotlight, then it fizzled. Things that were a sure bet were very shaky. If you are not on the right life path, Saturn will tear everything down so you can begin again. It can be very Plutonian in the destruction if you resist like I did. The longer I held on to the way I had been doing things for all these years, the more everything started to crumble. I had to let it all go and have the faith that the new opportunities would present themselves. As soon as I gave up all of my will, all my stubbornness and all my intentions for what I thought I wanted, the new began to creep in. It came slowly at first, writing in different genres, reinventing myself physically and mentally. Most of all, I realized I had boxed myself into this corner because my online presence was no longer authentic. I was playing a part, fitting a mold. I decided to free myself in every sense of the word. (I kept the husband and the cats)
So, what I learned from my writers block is that I was trying to force things to stay static. I was refusing to look up and around. When I gave up and opened myself to the possibilities, the world began to open to me. I began my transformation, adjusted my career and my life path and the writers block, depression and frustration have ceased.
My sister is currently going through this right now. She got passed over for two promotions for a job she doesn’t love anyway, she didn’t get another job she equally didn’t love, but paid more, and a love interest dumped her by text. Her apartment is pricing her out of a comfortable living and her animals are having crisis after crisis, bankrupting her. I feel her pain. Every door is being slammed in her face. She’s getting that cat backed into a corner feeling. That one just before the cat goes nuts on you and everything in the room! I shared my experience. Telling someone to stop fighting when that fight for your life instinct has kicked in is easier said than done. But I believe that dropping resistance is required in order to receive what the universe has waiting for you. Giving up was the best thing I ever did. I hope this helps someone who is banging on closed doors and trying to pry open stuck windows. Sometimes the best thing to stop, walk away and find the door that is cracked, inviting you to take a peek inside.
Love to everyone.