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RE: 16 days of literature: Awkward Tension

in #writing6 years ago

Great work spinning the story on it's ear, Felix! Instead of Kal being a 'fairly' innocent Master Grower as one would presume, she is instead found to be a harsh killer. Though she sometimes used scum as her targets, to take the life of a child and of one of her spouses puts her into the 'need to go' category.
Nice to see you work in your beloved masks and what a great reveal of Musashi to be a woman! (Yours is the first that I've read where the Colonel is female. 😉) As Kal's misdeeds are laid bare, my heart went out more and more to Musashi. To have her wife take the life of her husband as well as almost hers left deep scars upon her (both physically and emotionally). Yet, though there was regret, the Colonel's gunshot was made more from love (the want to spare her Kal from suffering due to her crimes).

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I totally agree! A tragic and damned love triangle, very original and emotionally well built! Bravo!

(Marco)

UwU ~ Thanks for reading and thanks for the compliments! Indeed, I wanted to poise a scenario that indeed Master Grower (Kal) was a killer (which I hint at some impulse-reaction behaviour with Kal looking at the knife). But I had to tie it in with Musashi’s concerns, and with the fact we have SciFi topic of two people that (used to) care for each other in a SciFi. So making the Colonel a women fit rather neatly here (and the fact that no gender was specified in relation to the Colonel, so took it for a wild trip) which allowed me to tie in relationship strife with Kal’s muderous feelings. Of which, I finally tied it back with that loose Heitor thread and showcased the final obscenity that made the Colonel snap but never enough to fully let her suffer a fate worse than being shot at. Withal, the realm of Love still managed to get Musashi to collapse, but finally redeemed in the eyes of a ghost husband in their polyamorphic relationship. And so, she finally could put Kal to sleep and say goodnight.

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