A letter to myself and for myself.
I'm sorry I left you. I wasn't there for you in times you needed someone for yourself.
In a previous post, I wrote that leaving you was one of my biggest regrets and I'm sorry.
"...I tried to compensate for my decision and pushed my limits too much that I exhausted myself to the point of injury. I feel like I punished myself for not going and I wasn't there for myself when I needed me the most. I paid less attention to my health so my body paid the price. My spine gave up on me."
I gave my time to a lot of things and to a lot of people, I forgot to leave some for you. I fought so hard for other things and for other people but not for you. I kept pushing and running even when you said you were tired. I didn't listen until the injury caught my attention, but then it was too late. I know the thought of losing Karate and sports was painful. You felt lost but you never gave up. You started again from the bottom of the stairs and worked your way through the top. Now, you are here; still fighting and I couldn't be more proud of how strong you've become.
I am writing this to you because other things and people keep demanding your time, especially now. Knowing you, I know that it'll give you joy to be able to help them out but I just want to remind you to leave some for yourself. You need you too and you need time for yourself. You're supposed to prepare for something for your future, right? Remember to prioritize and have balance. Take a break if you must. It's not a sin to rest and say no.
Learn from the past and be there for you.