Some thoughts on "jackal" language.
Something I've been thinking about more and more lately is what's referred to as "jackal language".
I was sort of resistant to the idea at first, but.. The more I learn about it.. The more I see it almost everywhere.
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I also realize that I'm extremely guilty of it as well.
I think I could argue that I reserve it for situations of upmost importance. Yet.. I'm still guilty of using it a lot.
So many people basically thrive and live and revolve around jackal language, almost everything they say is designed to subliminally or hiddenly infer alternate suggestions, or threats, or psychological tricks to help them get the things they want in life.
Looking back I realize I've used this language at times when women I fell for broke my trust or gave up on me, and sometimes even with friends or family when I was seriously let down or felt wronged.
Also.. Especially when I rant about the state of the world. I've been educated enough in my life to be very careful with my language and to reserve my vitriol and venom for the worst offenders which is one reason I think so many people vibe with me.. But..
The more I think about it.. When I'm complaining about how messed up the world is.. I'm essentially calling almost everyone out, except perhaps the small amount of people who are likeminded to me and who are spending a significant amount of their time and life trying to help.
And.. The more I think about it.. I don't want to guilt trip people into taking action, and.. It doesn't really work that well either.
When people feel attacked they tend to dig in deeper.
I need to find ways to express the urgency of the situation without making people feel like they are wrong and guilty for not helping more.
That's jackal language, even if it's "justified" in a sense because of the seriousness and urgency of the situation. It's still an attempt to sort of shame and guilt people into caring more.
I reread that and I'm like.. How did I ever expect that to really work? Who is going to listen if I guilt and shame them? Mostly only the other people who already agree with me, thus creating a sort of echo chamber.
It's so easy.. To type up some diatribe about how fucked up everything is and how so many people are apathetically contributing to it and perhaps even our entire species own demise and get a bunch of likes/upvotes and comments with people agreeing.. Yet.. It's not reaching the people who need to be reached as much!
Anger and passion and throwing some curse words around tends to get attention, and when you're trying to get a message out you want attention on that message, yet.. I think at some point the message itself is lost when your own ego becomes too dramatic and too much of the focus.
Somehow I have to learn how to be "piercing" and get through to people in effective powerful manner, without blaming them so much or making them feel like they are the problem or that something is wrong with them.
People tend to get defensive in such cases whether you are right or wrong. They get into "fight or flight" mode and either they'll ignore you(flight) or turn you into a target to attack (fight), sometimes there's the third option of actual respectful discussion, though I'd say.. That's not often enough.
The message is what's important. And I thought by being passionate and angry it would bring more people to the message, though now I don't really think that way anymore. I'm open minded to the idea that that is counter productive and that I should strive my hardest to remain civil and diplomatic even under the most difficult conditions.
I know I will fail many times, I've already failed since I've been aware of these ideas quite a few times.. Yet.. I'm getting better.. And I'm looking at myself more and other people more and understanding more the psychology and nature involved, and..
I think.. It will be very beneficial for me to continue to work on.. Trying to express these important thoughts I feel I have, in ways in which.. Are inclusive to others instead of which push them away.
Anyways.. I think that's enough for now. I guess we'll see how it goes!
Wouldn't being more polite and diplomatic in order to pierce through to others with your message of importance fall into the category of psychological tricks to help you get what you want?
#nokakle :)
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The way you framed it yes. I think so. Though.. It would be less "jackal" like and less manipulative I think. And.. In the case of me getting what I want in regards to the world healing and people showing more love and empathy to each other, I don't really expect that to ever happen the way I'd like. And if it does I doubt my individual actions would have a large connection to that.. But.. Yes.. Essentially. I guess the reason I'm exploring this route is because I think it may be more effective.. If both methods are just "different tricks" as you put it, then.. I'm trying to find the one that works better. Which I think I kind of touched on that in the OP. Thanks for your interesting question and thoughts! Definitely made me pause and stop and think about it a bit..
I think you have a gold nugget there, but it's no better than a pebble if it's cast off as such. If you're diplomatic and polite in order to bring peace and understanding then it's worthy in it of itself, as we can appear noble even if it's for ignoble ends and so can our nobility can come off as ignoble to some. I think what I want to say is that if you're being both genuine and noble in your intent then you won't have to worry about casting off you gold nugget like a mere pebble.
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I'm admittedly not totally sure I get what you're inferring here. But.. I'd like to be clear that ethics are important to me and I can get doing something for that purpose and I think if you break ethics it will likely break your message as well, so.. I'm not meaning that I'm trying to do this in a deceptive way at all, just that I think the message is important and I'm trying to find the best way to not have the message be lost in the process. I hope that makes sense? I feel like, being more diplomatic and peaceful is OR COULD BE both more ethical and more effective so I want to explore that route.
Common courtesy isn't really a matter of ethics, but etiquette and it's all based on the situation, so in that respect you have to gauge what crowd you're part of and respond accordingly so that they don't judge you as a stranger-outsider. I wanted to formulate it as a question/analogy but it went like "when among thieves and murderers.." as in discussing these things I prefer analogies instead of directness. What I mean with being noble and genuine in approaching the crowd with a "polite and diplomatic" attitude, is that there's certain situations where that will work and yet in some others if you give off any hint of disingenuousness they might not care at all for the message of peace or understanding if you would usually rather be completely blunt and stern otherwise but regarded responding as such as less efficient.
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Thanks for explaining and going into further detail. I agree with you, and that's why I used to say and still do say that I try to craft my message depending on the audience.. However a lot of times you don't know your audience or what they believe so I think the peaceful approach is a better "default" one so to speak, and then if it devolves you can switch to speak their language in a more rough manner if you think that is necessary.
However.. I still think there tends to be a "spillover" sort of effect and when you act nasty to "fit in" it spills over into your regular and every day life and.. Can have unpleasant side effects. So I think in general it is better to work towards the more peaceful side and not indulge in the nastyness, but I admit.. Sometimes.. Some people won't listen to you unless you speak their language. So that's a decision you gotta make yourself if you feel it's worth changing your dialect/language style in order to get through to someone you may not get through to otherwise, and THEN even if you do end up going to their level and using their language, you can still try to spin it in a more positive way than they do and sort of show them how they could be a lil more eloquent themselves in the process of sort of trying to "meet them half way".
What an interesting self-reflection. This was really neat to read. It's easy to get caught up in blame/being upset at what people are doing, but forget that each human is trying to survive and striving to get by.
This is a great conclusion. Shows fabulous self-awareness. Glad I stopped by for a read. :)
Thanks for the thoughtful feedback. I tend to agree.. It's very easy to do things the way we reflexively do, but.. It can be difficult to look at the patterns we get into sometimes and I think this is a major thing for a lot of people.. Is that.. People tend to sort of do things as a tradition or just cause other people do it, and don't often enough really think deeply about it. And we can learn a lot if we examine ourselves in such ways! It's worth giving it a shot in my opinion and exploring these subjects. :)
Thanks for appreciating!