If I was an alien that was sent here to Earth to see what's going on...

I'm sorry that I put out so much negative energy into the world sometimes...

I'm just sick of how people treat each other, the animals and the planet. And I'm sick of how I've been treated by so many people including some who I thought were suppose to care about me the most. It's horrible what so many people are doing to themselves, others and the world we live on.

I try to be honest and express what I see and what I see mostly isn't pretty, most of it is disturbing.
I wish I could say most of what I see is beautiful and awesome and that life is great for me and most others.

Though it's not, and I don't think trying to sugar coat it or ignore it is very helpful. I've been trying to be more peaceful and loving in my language and in general, yet... I feel like I have to be honest and things are really twisted and screwed up for me and many others.

I watched a movie the other night with my friend called Brightburn, it's basically a movie about what if Superman had come to earth and instead of being a superhero he was a villain instead. And I, unfortunately, feel like I could relate a lot, like the part about him being bullied at school and being treated poorly by so many people including the girl he liked...

Sometimes I feel like I'm an alien and I even have a story my parents have told me for a long time that a UFO followed the midwife to our house the morning I was born and hovered outside. Then the next day I was taken to a local market to get weighed and a weird hippy came up pointed at me and said I was a space ship pilot.

Plus I've seen so many UFOs during my life and even had some other weird experiences like dreams and such with aliens in them and many of the encounters I've had made me feel like there was something different about me, like I'm an alien from elsewhere or something...So, as I said... I can kinda relate to the story of being an alien from elsewhere who landed on this planet and who was treated very poorly.

Thankfully I've become much more loving recently, this last year or so... I've reached levels of more love and peace and forgiveness than I ever have before.

But... Not too long ago, I was really quite angry and in an incredibly dark place. I saw no reason to forgive most people who did really bad things and I hated them, and I still do have hate for what so many people do to each other and the animals and this world... Yet I have found it in my heart to have love for all beings, even the worst of them.

I remember in recent times, after being treated horribly by almost all the women I tried to fall in love with and having them just treat me like absolute shit and like I didn't deserve any compassion or empathy it really made me think... Like... If I was a star-seed sent from elsewhere to check up on this planet and give a report... It wouldn't be a very good report. 👽

Not only are humans mass murdering each other, torturing each other, raping each other, stealing from each other, lying to each other, slaughtering the animals by the trillions, destroying the environment... But even most of the people in my own personal life treated me awful... Even the ones I thought would care about me the most. They treated me like I was nothing, like my life didn't matter at all. Like I deserved to be tortured and punished and ridiculed and viciously insulted, just for trying to love them... Just for trying to care about them.

There was a point where I would have given humanity an F, a failing grade... And I still sort of do feel that way.
However, there have been a few people who have treated me really well... The first woman I fell in love with who passed away from a rare form of cancer... She was the sweetest person I ever met and never did anything to hurt me.

And also my one main friend I hang out with in person has been one of the highlights as well, we've had a few issues in the past but nothing really seriously bad and I feel like he's one of the best human beings I've ever met.

Then most of my family as well who I've had some problems and arguments with in the past, have ended up being there for me and showed me, incredible love, as well. Plus some really good friends I've met online who I never met in person but who are always there for me... There's a lot of good people out there, I wouldn't want to ever see harm come to them.

I'd rather not see harm come to anyone really, and have everyone live pleasant happy lives... Though that's not what this world is like.. This world is a freaking nightmare for many.
Yet if I was truly an alien and I got to meet up with other aliens and they wanted to know what I thought about things here on Earth...

I would tell them that even though a majority of it seems horrible and bad, that there are some who genuinely care and that we should try to preserve them and give them time to fix things here to whatever degree is possible.
Those who truly care are worth saving, even if the majority seem apathetic, indifferent or worse.

Even if the majority seem cruel and ruthless and self-centered, and I'm not saying they are 100% for sure, I could be wrong with my estimations... But even if it SEEMS that way, it's worth trying to repair things for the genuinely good ones.

There's something so incredibly beautiful about those who have a good heart in this violent savage world that I think it's important to try to nurture that and help it to grow.

Yeah, it's absolutely horrendous and unbelievable what people are doing to each other, the animals and the planet... Just absolutely atrocious and messed up... Though there's something about the beauty of a good heart and someone who really cares that outweighs all that bad stuff in my opinion.

I hope that someday this world has more beautiful people with good hearts compared to the darker more corrupt ones and that it doesn't all get wiped out or extincted. I'm not giving up on humanity. I still have hope.

I'm going to post some pictures below in the comments that show a fraction of the pain I've seen and felt vicariously.
Look at the pictures at your own risk, and please don't report me. I'm tired of being censored by people who are unable to look at the reality what's happening in the world, or who feel the need to try to control what other people see.

I think one of the major reasons things are so messed up is precisely because so few are willing to even look at these kinds of things. And how do you address or try to fix or heal something if you won't even look at it?

I've spent much of my life researching the world, finding stories, information, pictures and footage of injustice from animal abuse to police brutality to war and on and on and the innocent victims, people starving, people being tortured, assassinated, executed and murdered cause I want to help and I feel like seeing what's really going on is important.
.
I watched most of the ISIS execution videos. I've seen people burned alive, drowned, beheaded and worse... I've seen so many horrible things it's difficult to not be messed up in the head to a degree and to try to be a normal functioning member of society.

And I realize all of what I've seen that has broken my heart and made me lose a lot of hope in humanity is just a fraction, a tiny small sliver of what has happened and continues to happen that I'll never see. What I've seen is very little compared to what I will never see.

If you can look at these pictures and not feel like throwing up and crying and wanting to spend as much time as reasonably possible trying to help others and the world... I dunno what to say.

Even if I don't have as much money as I'd like or haven't had as much love or romance as I feel like I've needed or done many of the things in life I would like to do like travel and see the world and experience so many different things... At least I spent countless hours trying to help and looking at what's really happening in the world.

Even though I'm lacking so much in so many areas in life and wish my life was better, I'm glad I spent so much of my life trying to do what I think is right. I look at the pictures of humans and animals who are victims of maliciousness and greed and it was worth it for me to sacrifice so much of my time and energy and life to try to help them.

I'd rather be unfulfilled in terms of money and romance and other stuff like that, than be someone who never tried to help others very much... I look at pictures of these children who were disfigured or killed in war or other victims like men and women and the animals... And I think at least I tried to do something when so many other people are content to just make money and fuck around and focus on themselves.

So what if I'm lacking in certain ways, at least I listened to my fucking heart and I tried to help when it seems like the majority of the population don't give a shit about anything but themselves for the most part.

If I was an alien sent here to scope out this planet... I would be really disappointed in humanity, but... I would see that there are some good ones, even if they are a minority and much more rare in comparison and their beautiful hearts are one of the most important things, I hope and wish the future is a kinder place for everyone, including the animals, cause things are beyond jacked up and wrong and I don't understand how it seems like the majority of people could care less, it boggles my mind why people who care at a deeper level seem to be so rare.

I'd rather be alone my whole life and shunned by society than to be one of these people who goes through their whole life without spending much if any time trying to help others around the world who are being victimized.

And it's messed up that I feel like an alien because I can barely meet anyone who feels similar about helping and that I often even get insulted and ostracized for caring and for trying to help others.

This world is SICK. Sometimes I wish I was an alien or a different species cause I don't want to be like the majority of these people who turn a blind eye to all the strife and problems in the world.

Anyways, that's it for now. Felt like getting this off my chest and expressing how I've been feeling. Peace.
PS I don't own the rights to any of these images and am using them in a fair use educational sense.

After thinking about this quote a bit more I think they are often both. Both victims and accomplices.