Journal From a Submariner XVI

DATE 11SEP10, TIME 1746
9 years ago, 9/ 11 happened. It's crazy to think, that is before I knew you existed. I remember exactly where I was. I was at the off ramp from the 67 Freeway getting off on Cottonwood by the drive in theatre, in Santee, going to school. It came over the radio, and we were all terrified. I was in 6th grade I think. 9 years, so much has happened since then. I have graduated high school, I have gotten married, I have left home, I moved into a house with the women of my dreams. The only thing wrong with my life is the fact I live on a submarine most of the year. I was thinking today, ‘‘how the fuck did I end up here?’’ My life has changed so much in 2.5 years. I am fucking living on a submarine for Christ’s sake. As we can see not many things are built for submarines, laptops being one of them. I woke up this morning and the screen had a white line going down the front of it. Oh well, I’m still alive.
I haven’t seen my friends back home for more than a few days all together in the last 2 years, that fucking kills me. When we went home Jordan actually had a personality. Well, more than he did before. He is a little man it is fucking scary.
How much do I miss day-to-day in your life? You are growing up right now, without me. That was part of the plan...to grow up together. We have the rest of our lives to grow together, but this is a major part in ours. You are going to school, about to graduate soon, I know you’ll pass all your tests and everything. You have a steady job for the first time in your life. I’m so proud of you, and I hope you are proud of yourself because you deserve to be.
I have been freaking out a lot lately about what it is you have been doing with Tygett and Pearson. One email a week telling me how much fun your having with them killed my moral. Not going to lie, I thought every bad thing I could possibly think, but now I’m thinking to myself, “I trust my wife why did I even start to think those other things.” And then of course I remember. I’m stuck underwater, and that drives men crazy, especially knowing their wives are out there alone.
I am better now. I need to hear your voice, and hear how you are doing right at this moment. I am going to try to come home in our next port because I am about to hurt someone on the boat. I don’t know whom, but whoever it is they’re not going to like me.
Love you, forever and always, love babe.