[Original Novel] Pariah of the Little People, Part 5

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I supposed there might be sharp toothed herbivores not yet known to science, so I answered false. “7. What caused there to be fossils?” Another confusing one, as the Bible never says anything about fossils. I answered accordingly. It just went on like that. By the end I felt like I’d been through a minefield.

I was partway through history class, learning all about how ancient man apparently used dinosaurs like the “Behemoth” as a beast of burden, when the same teacher’s assistant from before came to collect me. I had some inkling as to why but still felt irritated when the principal produced my freshly graded test and asked me to explain why I answered as I did.

I asked if any of them were wrong. “A few. But it’s the ones you got right that concern me. Did you think I wouldn’t notice? These answers were written in a spirit of rebellion.” I asked what he meant by that.

“It’s when you do something subversive. That means sneaky. Usually to get out of obeying God, and the authorities He has appointed over you. This includes smart alecky test answers, misleading students behind our back, undermining your teachers, and thinking about the holy scriptures in an adversarial way. You can’t slip any of it past me.”

I considered explaining that I felt uncomfortable answering in a way I knew to be false. But I knew it’d just make things worse. I even tried to compromise only for that to fall through as well. So, gripping the edges of my seat, I lied. Not a half truth or a lie of omission, but a genuine, full blooded fib. I could see no other way forward.

“The last time we spoke, you told me I should interpret the world through a Biblical lens. Which means always starting from the position that the scriptures are true. All of my answers reflect that. You gotta show your work, right? That means it’s not a good answer if it doesn’t include how you know it’s true. Because it says so in the Bible, which is the inspired word of God. And God cannot be wrong.”

I’d done it. Acted my narrow little ass off. Told my first unqualified lie, and it made my skin crawl even as I struggled to maintain a poker face. He studied every detail of my expression. I could practically see the notches and grooves in the key of my answer depressing exactly the right pins in the lock of his brain, by exactly the right degree.

“On some of these, you answered that the Bible is silent on the issue.” I affirmed it. “We can make guesses based on what it says, as Bishop Ussher did, but we’re only human. It’s better to stick only to what it actually says.” I held no such opinion but it meshed with what I’d said before. To my own dismay I discovered I was finally developing a knack for deceit. He ate it all up with great relish.

“Indeed! That’s called Sola Scriptura. Though there is more to support a young Earth than the genealogy of Genesis. But you’ll learn about that later in the year. I must admit I’m relieved. It looks like I had you all wrong this time, you’re a quicker study than I gave you credit for.” Indeed, I thought. Just not in the way that he meant it.

I left with a heavy pit in my stomach. I recognized it as the same feeling from when I’d first struck somebody in anger. An invisible line had been crossed. Specifically, the sort you can only cross in one direction. It’s just one compromise after another, and there’s never any fighting it. The world demands it of you, trampling you into the dirt if you decline.

Another stain on my heart. I wondered if any red would still be visible by the time someone buries me. They make it so much easier to simply go along with all of it, and so painfully difficult not to.

When I arrived back in Core, I’d again missed the rest of history. They moved on to science, or their curious version of it. Everyone had been paired off into groups of two, the tables reorganized accordingly.

“Oh good, you’re back. Less confused now I hope. Go sit with Heather.” I stiffened up. Turning to survey the room, everybody else already had a partner except her. She sat there furtively shooting daggers at me, as if wanting to appear disgusted but also indifferent.

I wanted to return her disdain but her beauty makes it impossible to keep up the act. Hair the same shade of straw blonde as Jennifer’s, but cropped to just below the elaborate silver seashell earrings dangling from her lobes. Icy blue eyes rapidly scanning my person, finding nothing of value by the looks of it. Lately I’d be hard pressed to disagree.

“Ew. No”. She put her hand on the chair I meant to sit in. “The teacher paired me with you”, I protested. “I’m sorry, I didn’t choose it. Let’s just work together long enough to-” She repeated herself and pushed the chair into the table so I couldn’t sit. What should I do? I hardly wanted to force myself on someone who clearly didn’t want me around. But that put me at odds with the teacher. Something I meant to avoid going forward.

I imagined the little fellows stepping in. Teams of them pulling a comb through my hair to straighten it. Brushing the wrinkles from my shirt with a mechanized roller. Could I really be so repulsive to her that sitting next to me for an hour would be unbearable? How they’d climb on each other! Like a human pyramid but layers upon layers deep, soon taking the shape of a chair I might sit in.

“The floor’s fine. Or a different table.” Her ultimatum dissolved my daydream. I could hardly work together with her on any sort of project if we sat separately. So I chose the floor. The teacher came around handing out boxes of stuff for the day’s activity. “What are you doing down there? Take your seat already.”

Heather jumped in before I could speak. “Yeah, I don’t know either. I said the same thing but he ignored me. I guess he just likes it down there.” I heard students nearby snicker. One made a muffled comment, something about a carpet monkey’s natural habitat. I sheepishly stood, then reached for the chair while looking Heather in the eye.

She smiled sweetly and pulled the chair out, seemingly welcoming me to sit. A sudden change that made no sense, but it was a gift horse I did not feel inclined to inspect the teeth of. Then, no sooner than the teacher was out of earshot and busy with something else, Heather instructed me to move my chair as far as possible away from hers.

“I’m already halfway into the aisle.” Didn’t sway her. “Further”, she whispered. So I scooted. “Further than that.” I scooted a bit more. “Keep going.” I was now no longer properly sitting at the table, but in the space between tables. The teacher noticed and began to come over but hesitated, shrugged, then returned to the front of the room.

Each box contained a candle and a balloon printed to resemble the Earth. The effect diminished somewhat when I inflated the balloon to discover the continents were stylized and cartoonish. The teacher came around to instruct each of us individually in the importance of being careful with the candle, lighting them one by one along the way.

“Now, imagine that the candle is the sun. If you were God, where would you place the Earth? Feel the balloon warm up as to move it closer to the candle. What is a good temperature for people, plants and animals?” I did as instructed. The balloon, being relatively insubstantial, heated up near instantly.

“Now move it a little closer than that.” I did so, closing the gap by a centimeter. As I looked on, the surface of the balloon facing the candle began to discolor. Then all of a sudden, it burst. As did balloons throughout the room, to a mixture of gasps and delighted laughter.

“It is an astonishing fact which the secular establishment does not want you to know” the teacher proclaimed, “that if the Earth were just ten feet further from the sun, it would freeze. While if it were just ten feet closer, it would burn up. They want us to believe that happened by accident!”

Some of the laughter had a familiar, menacing tone to it. I looked around and several pairs of eyes were trained on me. Oh how I wanted to say something. I knew they expected it though, so I kept my mouth shut. It hurt, too. Like the truth was trapped in my belly, trying in vain to claw its way out.

Tyler came and sat with me at lunch. It elicited some furrowed brows, but nobody came to separate us. “Oh, hey. I have something for you.” I reached into my pocket and withdrew the pink barrette. “This is yours, isn’t it?” He stared in disbelief. Then at me. Then at the barrette as he gingerly took it from my hand. Then at me again. “How did you get this?”

I told him the story of my after school meeting with the psychologist, how I spotted it in the trashcan while waiting. He swiftly pocketed it, looking around to ensure nobody noticed. Then looked at me all weird again, eyes glistening. “I...I don’t...um…I dunno how to...” I interrupted to assure him it wasn’t a big deal, I just happened to see it. He relaxed a bit and smiled. “Well...thank you.”

It’s just a barrette, isn’t it? I puzzled over the matter while following the herd from the cafeteria to the playground. Tyler joined me here as well. I told him he should put it in his hair now that we were outside. “Oh no” he said, looking at his feet. “I couldn’t.” We wound up sitting on the wall, our legs dangling, talking about all kinds of stuff.

A concerned looking teacher came by and told us to sit at least two feet apart, but did not bother us after we complied. “It really is easier to obey” I thought, shuddering as I remembered where I’d first read that. “Why do you always look sad?” Tyler pried. I remarked that he’d only known me for two days, so “always” was a strong word.

“I’m right though, aren’t I. There are bags under your eyes and lines in your face I’ve only seen on grownups before now. You’ve even got a grey hair.” I didn’t believe him until he picked it out for me. “I’m not happy here” I offered. “I can already tell I don’t fit in. I probably don’t fit in anywhere.” He prodded me for more, expressing doubt that the school was the only thing.

“People hate me for reasons that are out of my control. I’ve never felt normal and I don’t think I ever will be. I try to make friends wherever I go but always wind up alone. To top it all off, I’m in love with somebody I know I shouldn’t be, who will never love me back. And when I try somebody else, even though they may be very pretty, it feels wrong.”

A long silence followed. When I turned to look at Tyler his eyes were doing that glistening thing again. “...I dunno. It probably sounds strange to you, I-” he burst in here. “No, no! I understand completely! You have no idea how happy I am to hear those words from another person. I thought I was alone.”

He held up one finger. “I feel like all my life I’ve been a candle drifting through a dark and rainy night. A single flame is not difficult to put out. It’s delicate and easily extinguished by a stray droplet or breeze.”

He then held up a second finger, and brought them together. “But if another candle joins it, or two, or three, they burn more brightly and warmly together than they could separately. Then it’s much harder to put them out.”

My eyes widened in sudden recognition. I’ve never used those words to describe monster world before but he could only be talking about it. About the slowly multiplying rays of sunshine which break through the clouds, as you meet others who make it all bearable so long as you’re near them. I wasn’t just looking at a friend or ally. I’d found another me.

So I opened up to him. Not quite as completely as I’d opened up to Jennifer, leaving out the stuff about the witch and little people, but close. It felt exhilarating! Maybe nerve wracking would better describe it. A snap decision to share my most vulnerable parts with someone I’d only known since yesterday. He said all the right things...could that mean he’d lied?

Even now I feared he might start laughing at any moment. As if everything I’d seen him endure the other day could simply be a show they put on to draw me out. Yet I’d glimpsed something in him just now that forced my hand. Like this might be the only chance I’ll ever get to be fully understood by another person and my choices are to seize it or regret it forever.

He listened with rapt attention, eyes twinkling and smile growing all the while. It was the first time I’d seen him like that. Sure, a smile here and there. But I mean with his guard all the way down. Now I understood why. It’s very much like discovering your tribe at last after being lost in a foreign land. Two people is a tribe, isn’t it? And if there are two, there could be more I haven’t met.

“That’s amazing” he said. I’d finished out of breath, in a hurry to get it all out and unsure how he’d react. “Listen.” He took me by the shoulders. “Don’t ever let them put your flame out. However hard they try. They’ll never stop, either. But no matter what, don’t let them put it out.”

I didn’t know what to say. So I just somberly nodded. “Good” he said. “Then neither will I.” I took hold of his shoulder too, as if to seal the pact. Just looking at one another in a fleeting, beautiful moment of perfect understanding until the teacher from before came to admonish us for putting our hands on each other.

It was impossible to sit together undisturbed after that, so we split up. I had him wear my jacket as our hair’s the same color, that way he’d be mistaken for me, and I could freely explore the forest and field.

He seemed happy enough to oblige. When I came upon the wreckage of the sky station stored beneath the Willow tree I was shocked to find a mass of little fellows in white tunics crawling all over it. Not done picking it clean? I hope I didn’t make their lives needlessly difficult.

Perhaps they’re just curious because somebody moved it. If so, they showed no indication that they noticed my presence. I moved about taking extreme care not to crush any of them underfoot, watching them meticulously pick the mess apart, stripping the wiring and chopping the balsa wood into inch long lumber.

Then I took the empty juice can from lunch and set it down amidst the tangled mess. They immediately crowded around to inspect it as if it had appeared from nowhere. As hoped, they proceeded to roll it onto a sled made from salvaged balsa and set about dragging it off towards the woods.

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^{Stay Tuned for Part 6!}