Creative Writing Challenge - Task #3 - Unfinished Business
This task consists in writing a story related to the plane in the picture above (it's the one circled in red). The challenge it's further explained in this post. Thanks to @steemfluencer for creating this.
The voice of the pilot could be heard on the speakers.
"Ladies and gentlemen please fasten on your seatbelts, we'll be landing shortly. It's been a pleasure and thank you for choosing Bornfly"
Clicking off the intercom the man heaved off a sigh. It's been eleven long hours and he was really tired; all the blonde could think about was a bath and a night of sleep. His mind was far away with his family, he didn't leave them on a happy note. His wife was furious with him and he was a stranger to his sons. Adam, the pilot, has been consumed with work and barely been at home. As hard as he tried he couldn't remember the last time he kissed his wife or when they went out as a family and had a wonderful time. Maybe he should call them when they landed and try to amend things. He could try harder, they could make it work.
A woman was drumming her fingers on her armrest, impatiently waiting to get out of the plane. She didn't like flying but it was inevitable; she needed a fresh start away from her nightmares. It's ironic and almost funny how she always mocked those who stayed in abusive relationships yet it took her three years to get out of hers. Three years and countless scars left, on the outside and the inside; this would be her new life, away from the monster she loved. Amanda couldn't wait and as she looked out the window a smile curved her lips for the first time in a long while.
Three seats down from Amanda was a little boy, playing with a toy plane. His name was Tommy and he sat in the middle of his two parents. He was an only child and it was lonely most of the time. Anyone who saw his family thought they were perfect and cute, but that was far from the truth. Behind closed doors all that could be felt was awkwardness, tension and arguments. Tommy didn't know why but he knew his parents weren't happy; still, he was just a child and he will play dumb until he couldn't anymore.
Towards the back of the plane were seated an old couple, Charles and Marie. Marie looked at her husband that was asleep and smiled with her eyes. They have been married for fifty years and even though marriage was hard and it has its ups and downs she wouldn't trade it for the world. The old lady closed her eyes and dreamed of how they met and their story. Charles wasn't sleeping but he knew his wife loved watching him while he slept and so he pretended. He reached for her hand and squeezed it thinking of all the time they still had left together.
Anyone looking from their homes, the street or places of work who watched couldn't explain what had happened. One minute everything was fine and the next it was spiraling out of control. Flames enfulged the airplane and it fell fast towards the ground, once it landed on the concrete a explosion was heard and all that was left were the charred remains. The pilot wouldn't be able to fix his mistakes, Amanda wouldn't have her fresh start, Tommy wouldn't get the chance to grow up and the married couple ran out of time. Like theirs, many stories ended and for years to come experts would analyze every detail to find out what went wrong.
beep beep
Will start following you now!
The story itself: Before the last paragraph it was pretty similar to what it came into my mind looking at the plane. I've managed to imagine the live of the people.
Last paragraph: of course, this is a key moment. At the end the readers are offered an opportunity to start thinking about their own live. That has even happened before that when you've described the current struggles of the passengers.
I just wanted to comment what I've read and felt reading the story. I don't pretend being a professional writer's cryptic or anything like that.
Thank you for giving your opinion! I appreciate it a lot. I know talking about the passengers is the first thing that comes to mind but I tried to give it a little twist at the end :)
I think what's interesting about this story is the insight into each person's life, and that at any moment it could suddenly end with all of these unfinished parts.
Yes, precisely because of that is important not to leave things for later when you can do them now. Thank you for commenting, I'm glad you liked it (:
The concluding was just... ugh! T_T
Things like this is inevitable... :(
I love how you created the characters though.. ^^
Yes it's not a happy ending but it's life 🙁 Thank you (:
ouch, now I see the hard bit came first.
I am catching up in the wrong order.
That was harsh, and I didn't feel it was telegraphed at all.
It wasn't the greatest shock in the world either, but it wasn't what I was expecting.
well done
Thank you so much :) I'm glad you weren't expecting it, it wasn't the most original but it's nice to know it was even a bit unexpected.
Congratulations! This post has been upvoted from the communal account, @minnowsupport, by julio from the Minnow Support Project. It's a witness project run by aggroed, ausbitbank, teamsteem, theprophet0, someguy123, neoxian, followbtcnews/crimsonclad, and netuoso. The goal is to help Steemit grow by supporting Minnows and creating a social network. Please find us in the Peace, Abundance, and Liberty Network (PALnet) Discord Channel. It's a completely public and open space to all members of the Steemit community who voluntarily choose to be there.