SUICIDE(STORY)

My name does not matter at all, but what I did did not have forgiveness, in spite of everything I do not feel hatred, only a deep and vague pity, and deep in my heart I love them. It was 7 am and I went to school, to a nice day and everything was going great, with 10 years I was studying fifth grade, I loved school, especially the beautiful recesses that were flying, I do not have many friends, but always I try to please them to give me their affection, I do not know why sometimes they do not like me and say things to me, but I do not care and I forgive them. It was 10:45 in the morning, I got up to scrape my pencil, I felt a blow, it was a paper ball that hit my head, I turned to see who had thrown it at me, but they all got serious, when walked to the jar of garbage, another companion crossed my foot through the middle of mine and made me fall, all comrades laughed, I felt very sorry and gave me a little anger, but do not pay attention .

The next day when I had finished buying in the school cafeteria, a companion taller than me, I passed by my side and I throw the lunch box on the floor, I left without eating, when we enter the classroom I present the complaint to the teacher, and they took us to the rectory, my partner denied everything and said that I had stumbled, that day I felt a lot of anger, because I did this if I just wanted to be his friend. What I have in bad thought. I arrived at my house and I told my mother, but she did not pay attention I was busy and had more important things to attend to, my father I do not say anything anymore, he is an alcoholic and most of the time he opened it and he promises me that never meets, my only refuge is my friend Carlitos, a teddy bear that my mother gave me when I was younger, I tell him everything that happens to me every day, although he never answers me, but he is always willing to listen to me.

There are days when I do not want to go to school, but my mom hits me, and tells me that if I do not study, I will be like my father. We had finished classes and when I left school I went around the corner and saw 3 colleagues who were lying on the wall talking, I thought it was strange but I kept walking, when I pass by one of them I walk with me and put my hand over my shoulder, where you are going in such a hurry, he said, to my house I answered, began to seize my pockets, but I objected, and I pushed and fell to the floor, being on the ground, began to kick me and joined him, my other colleagues, I got several blows and took the money from the bus. When they left I was able to get up, but it hurt my abdomen, I walked all the way to my house, I arrived at 7 pm and my mother was waiting for me with a whip in her hand, she grabbed my shirt, to the house, I wonder where I was, the pain in my ribs was so strong that I could hardly speak, even though I told her that my companions had taken the money, she did not believe me, she gave me so many blows that I faint, was scared and revived me with a little alcohol, asked me for forgiveness and gave me a hug, I loved my mother so much I understood her anger and also because I had punished, the next day I could not go to school, gave me a strong fever and I was in bed for several days, my mother did not want to take me to the hospital because she knew that they could sue her for mistreatment.

After almost two weeks of absence, I returned to school, they were in final exams of period, I lost the majority, because I did not understand any of the subjects, I made several habilitations but I did not reach to gain the matter, I had a low average and I was the worse in the room, my mother felt ashamed of me. And I do not speak for almost a week. My companions kept mocking me and every day they took away the silver from me. Every day I felt more empty, in the room no one wanted to do with me to do the tasks, and in recess I was always alone, sometimes I missed a tear because I did not understand because nobody understood me.

I searched the internet for cases related to my problem and there were few solutions. I saw a video of a case of a boy who found a solution and I decided to apply it, I did not want to suffer any more, I had to find a cure that would take that weight off me. My mother came home from work and lay down on the couch, and I mention my name, but I did not answer her, she started to look for me in the house and went up to my room, gave a scream so strong that the neighbors were scared. I was hanging from the ceiling, with a rope around my neck, and on the bed was a note that said: Dear mama, forgive me for not being the son you would have wanted, but it's not my fault, I'm a little withdrawn and it costs me I know that you love me and that your abuse is to correct me, but sometimes I do not understand when you hit me for no reason and I do not know what to do. You let me explain why I do things, well, that does not matter anymore, I just want to tell you that I love you with all my heart and I do not want to be a burden on you, that's why I go where God is, because I know that he will be the only one who will understand me and hold me in his chest when it feels cold. END