Things I write when I'm drunk: A letter to mom.

Hello mom.

Yes, you are reading this, mom.

How are you?

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I wish I knew you better. I wish I knew you before you had a baby. I bet you were even cooler.

I love you, did you know that? I think you are the coolest mom I know. I talk about you a lot, because I don't think it's that common to have someone like you as a mom. I'm very thankful I picked you as the soul to create me. I know I am the way I am because of you, because we come from a line of women who have been just too awesome.

We are very different, and we're also very alike. I feel like I can understand you better than you think I do, I know you understand me a lot too. I know , sometimes it may look like we're too different, like we were from different worlds. It has taken me years to understand that I'm just like you in some ways. And, in some other ways, I've grown different, on purpose. Thank you for letting me see who I really am.

I wish we had spent more time together. But we have time now. And that's great. I think it's taken up until now for us to grow, and to be able to spend time with each other. Maybe I wouldn't have been able to understand you before. But now, I feel closer, now I feel like you get me in ways I don't even get myself.

I love how no matter how old I am you always treat me like your little girl. I love how I can just feel small and safe in your arms, and I can let you hold me and make me feel loved. I love how we can joke around until someone is crying with laughter. Maybe I'm not a little girl anymore, but when I lay on your bed, I know I can always have a nice warm hug, and it'll immediately make me feel better.

When we were far apart, there were some days I needed you. And you wouldn't believe it, but the fact that you would call and I could hear your voice, it often made tears come to my eyes. Because I did need you. I needed you a lot.

Growing up hasn't been easy for me. I don't think it's easy for anyone. And yes, maybe I forced myself to grow too fast, maybe I forced myself to be an adult way too soon. But I learnt a lot. And one of the most relevant things I learnt, was about family. About you, mom.

I will always need you. I know you will always be there for me. I know you have always supported me. I know you have always rooted for me. I can't say I haven't been loved. Your arms will always make me feel better. Being close to you will always make me feel safer. Maybe you don't believe this, but it's true.

I know I am kind of difficult sometimes. I want to do my own things, my own way. And maybe you sometimes think I'm not right. And sometimes I'm not.

But sometimes I am.

I trust myself enough to know this. Life has taken me exactly where I need to be. I have grown, I have learnt. Don't misunderstand me, I still know nothing. But I am where I need to be. Trust this. Don't worry, I'm fine.

Thank you for being there. Thank you for being the awesome mom you are. We can only thank the awesome mom you have yourself.