How to Forgive and Rebuild Trust with Someone Who Hurt You
We learn how to forgive by understanding what forgiveness is and how it helps us.
By rebuilding trust, we may resolve the conflict inside us long after the harm has been done.
- Forgive yourself and others
Often we hear the phrase “Let It Go” but find it hard to forgive and forget.
Why does it feel like the universe doesn’t allow us to forgive? If it is in the past, why can’t we just let it go?
When we hold onto grudges, we form an identity of being a victim who has been wronged. It gives us a sense of rightness. Sometimes we gain sympathy and support from others. All of this can feel empowering.
A grudge is a natural defense mechanism to keep others from harming us. In holding grudges, we believe that it will stop us from people doing wrong to us. We think that by holding onto what happened, we avoid what could happen again.
But it is false.
We do not feel better but become worse in time.
Holding onto resentment causes us to waste valuable energy in our mind and also manifests illness in our body.
Grudges makes us stressed. Thus, it raises cortisol levels and we attain an unhealthy level of obesity. Anger and revenge raises blood pressure and reduces effectiveness in our vagus nerve.
Mentally, it robs us of our hope for the future as we spend all of our time seeking ways to harm them when we could have used it to help ourselves. Even if we did exact revenge for causing us harm, it only makes feeling bad worse.
Forgiveness is to give up the idea that you can control what happened.
Nothing you can do can change what happened. We cannot change how other people reacted.
You don’t have to forget but the only way forward to a better future is to drop the baggage we carry in the past.
There are no Right and Wrong in Arguments, Only Two Fools
A fight almost always come from two opposing viewpoints engaging in a war to whom is right or wrong.
In your eyes, you were right. In their eyes, they were right. No one believes themselves to be the bad guy.
If you were to perceive with the eyes of the universe, you may see two tiny humans fighting.
What are they arguing about? What is the perspective of one and the perspective of another? Does it really matter in the next 10 years?
When you view your situation from a birds-eye view, it’s liberating to know how small the situation is. You can make better decisions from this objective point of view.
Now there is such thing as right and wrong which is as clear as night and day. However, most arguments have distorted sense of right and wrong and so both are unwise.
We are fools. Fools who engages in the fight, fools to think we can change others, and fools who keep the fight when it no longer exists in the present...
Please UPVOTE and RESTEEM :)
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