Vulnerability Among Men | Psy-Fi's Sacred Island Workshop on Sex Magic - Pt. 5/7 (feat. Dara & Simon)

paradigmprospect (69)in #workshop • 6 years ago

Simon smiled at us, pulled up his pants again and continued: "Alright then gang! Now that you know about my lingam story I want you to turn to your brothers for the next half hour and tell them your very unique lingam story. It would be anything that comes to mind, a hangup, a problem, the time she left you because it wasn't working... anything you want to share with your human brothers that is about your lingam and potentially, why you are here today. All of us have a Lingam story. And I want the others of you to just listen, to be present with your brother and to just hear what he has to say. No comment is needed, just be there for him and have him share his story. And we will go in a circle, let everyone speak for about 5 minutes or so and I will let you know when we have to move on to the next. Alright guys, any questions?"

Nope, we knew what was next: Being vulnerable as men, something I had already become quite good at over the years at psy festivals and my travels.

Two girls were poking their head into the tent through the closed entrance and Simon lovingly sent them away. "Sorry ladies you know the rules, this is the men's circle and we ask you kindly to leave until we all up meet later. The women's circle is over in the other tent."

The girls smiled and left, "alright cool, thank you ladies!"

We looked at each other in our little groups, asked who wanted to start and listened as the first of the group went to share his story with the others.

Lots of male voices in the tent now, here and there you could make out pieces of conversation but naturally we did our best to focus solely on the dude of our group sharing his unique lingam story with us.

As we went in a circle we heard stories about parents pretending sex doesn't exist until they had been 'caught' by accident one day and how the poor kid was then confused beyond belief. We heard stories relating to "its small size" and how some girls had pointed this out when asked, something that went on to become a self-worth-burden to some. We heard how guilt and shame underlie many of our Lingam stories and how most of it came from the way we got introduced to sexuality in the first place, often times in an impersonal way like popculture-garbage-magazines or the oversexualized media.

It felt good. I shared my story with them about social pressures literally 'forcing' me and my girl to go out back when we were still eyeing one another and how much we felt obligated to rush it for the weird expectations of our friends.

I noticed how little of a problem it was sharing my story with the dudes. I saw that many of the people present had obviously never shared their story with other people and I was glad I in fact had, and could zero in even more on the core of what I thought were my deeply rooted issues in that regard.

The more we talked and the more I listened to the others the more I felt like maybe I had already worked on my mindfucks more than I had expected. I was at peace with myself and felt the effects of yesterday's workshop coming in to further support my way of talking openly about my preferences and issues that were on my mind in regards to my lingam story.

"Alright, beautiful my brothers. 5 more minutes and we'll have to come to an end here, time is running out and we want to meet the women after this and bring it all together."

The last dude in our round finished his story and we felt grateful for each other's ear.

"Now if you would, give your brothers a hug and thank each other for your presence and willingness to listen." We hugged intensely, in a group. It felt awesome, here were these dudes I had never met before and after only an hour we had shared things many of us had - as they said - never shared with anyone. Not even their close friends.

"Alright, beautiful. That is real manly love right here!"

We applauded that comment and started yelling manly things of appreciation. We felt pumped. Like we could really take on the world again. We felt... whole.

Far from being lost individuals hoping to overcome some personal challenge, it started to feel like we were a tribe going in the same direction, counting on one another to pull us up out of the pits we have shoveled for ourselves. The value of a tribe cannot be overstated, especially if the members are willing to be vulnerable enough to show the others that we all have permission to work on ourselves and be more vulnerable on purpose than 'regular society' seemingly allows.

I was excited to see how this workshop would shape out now that we felt like an unstoppable band of men who had just grown in strength by leaps and bounds... Feeling at home in our bodies and with our stories, the first step to owning it all and growing beyond it.