Another long day working a trade show when my heart is not in it
I spend yesterday and today going to meetings I had set up that I think have the potential to create more revenue for the company I work for. That is part of my job and I am good at it. But it's all come to feel so hollow. I've doing the same job for way too long, just going through the motions, and it's as if this trade show were every tradeshow I've been to for the past 15 years. And I keep wondering (and then the shame fills me) why I am not out on my own yet? Why am I still an employee? What am I doing still selling advertising when I "coulda been somebody"! I have a master's degree from Oxford University. I got a Fulbright Award to study in Sweden. Why have I been doing this dull job for so long and how do I break out? What happened to my childhood dreams of being a writer, a painter, a great chef?
It was good to see all the old friends I've made in the business. One after one they came over and hugged me and said, "You look great! It's fantastic to see you! What are you up to?" These are my network, my supporters. There has to be a way to tie all of these together and to do something for myself.
I am taking steps, one at at time, to build something independent. I am not ready yet, but I will be. There's a lot more I have to do and try, but I will do it. I don't want to be at this trade show again next year. I am declaring this the last. I will change my life before next July.
Small habits now lead to big gains later. Start doing the research, making vision boards, and strengthening your relationships with the people in your network who already have the knowledge, skills, and ability to benefit you on your journey. Just avoid the expectation trap and only do those things that are going to get you closer to what you genuinely desire in the design of your life. Good luck and hang in there.
Thank you so much! I've never actually done a vision board, but it's about time I do. I am asking myself to take small steps every day towards my goals, whether to reach out to my network and build a stronger bond with someone, ask someone for key information or take steps of my own. Looking forward to reading your posts.
I don't think there has been a better time than now to do the things you really want to do.
Thank you! I am starting to think that as well.