Unforgivable work that I hide

I'll start from afar. I have two daughters from different marriages. The first marriage was not asked, and I left my husband and daughter in my arms. Later, I met a man, we lived a year and got a child, but for 12 years and did not sign. During this time, everything was: treason, drunks, beatings (in front of children), and I suffered and suffered.

Having moved to another locality, I cherished the hope for a better life. Money was not enough. At the most difficult moment (the graduation of the eldest daughter and the release of the youngest daughter from the primary classes), my husband went on a spree and rewarded me with a bad illness. I could not stand it and kicked him out.

I could not find a job by education ... and I found a way out. For 38 years I have a very good appearance. You can condemn me, but I started prostitution. Of course, you have to be careful, take good care of your health, but I cope - not a stupid girl after all. The eldest daughter knows this. I was against such a profit, but resigned. The younger with age becomes uncontrollable.

When I started working there, everything appeared in the house. With my husband this was not. To say that it's hard for me is not to say anything. I'm trying to improve my personal life, but it does not work out. There is a man for meetings. We meet 10 months, he is younger than me. He is not ready to live with me (he does not know about the work), but he does not want to leave me either. As luck would have it, the former husband also showed up. Comes extremely drunk. He says that it's hard for him without us, that you can fix everything. Daughters do not want to take it, but it disgusts me for everything that he did, although I feel sorry for him.

One of these days in social networks has met the man. Communicated only three days, but as if many years. He already plans to build a life together, and I'm afraid. And I'm afraid of the relationship, and I'm afraid to fall in love - suddenly he finds out about my work? It will be a nightmare. And what to do now, I do not know.