My truth

The truth is
my life is a mess
right now

You see me
Portraying success
Out loud

The truth is
It's harder to pretend
I'm OK

The stress is
Killing me inside
slowly

The truth is
Pretending is much harder
This time

When I llok in the mirror r
I see a man in decline

No one can see me
Sometimes I wonder if I'm here
Can anybody hear me
I'm screaming louder every year

Does anybody feel the same as me
Does anyone else think of suicide
Has anyone ever felt my pain
As I struggle through my life in vain

Do I look to the future
Is there any point,
because I've got to the point
Where I just need to dissappear

I've been losing my mind, but I keep searching
Knowing I'll just be wasting my time,
there is always another mountain to climb

and I'm running out of time

And I've forgotten what it feels like
To wake up feeling like it's my life is gonna be fine

But I keep searching, procrastinating
Pretending I know what I'm trying to find

But really, I'm trying to escape from my mind
Everyone else around me knows what I'm thinking all the time
They don't know what it's like to be unable to smile
Fake it until you make, I cant bring myself to say hi
How's your life, I can't pretend I give a shit,
When I know their lives are just as shit as mine.......
But they play their cards with conviction
And they buy expensive wine, they buy expensive lies
They take comfort in knowing that a holiday will suffice,
Saving all year round to escape from The life that they hate
Because they are stuck in the cogs of the machine we called time
Repeating the same shit experience, time after time,

I digress, as I look to compare your life, my life, and the life of those who say they care, but I don't, what's the point, when we are breathing the same air