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RE: Obligated to Take His Name | A Woman’s Right to Her Identiy
"In the end, we decided that our individual surnames were too important to us to lose so we just kept them."
I was going to suggest this when I first read the article. So then I must ask, why would you suggest that men take a woman's last name as a statement? What would that statement be?
The statement they would be making is that it’s ok for a man to take a woman’s last name and this doesn’t make him any less a man. Most men are blissfully unaware that we still live in a very patriarchal and chauvinistic society.
This is the reason we still haven’t had a female president. Not because there aren’t enough qualified females, but because a lot of the men and Christians in the world don’t feel right about a woman in leadership. Growing up I was taught that women couldn’t be pastors or leaders or any position that required them to be in authority over men.
Women in authority was unbiblical. It wasn’t until much later in life that I realized religion is often used as a construct to maintain power by controlling people through a belief system that requires you to abide by strict rules. The idea of the man being “the head of the household” or the woman being “the weaker vessel” are biblical writings that chauvinistic men turned into rules to keep their positions of power over the women.
All that to say these systems and cycles of oppression have been passed down for generations so it’s gonna take a lot more than us all agreeing that last names should be a discussion not an expectation to allow a man taking a woman’s last name to be a valid option on the discussion table. And I believe it is imperative that women have the opportunity to have their last names honored, carried on, and adopted by their husbands. Men have had this privilege for so long that they don’t even realize that it’s a provilege.