The Invisible Workload That Drags Women Down And How One Hug Can Help!
In the home who notices when we're running out of tooth paste?
Women pay attention to the tiniest details and especially mothers. Not like it is a do-or-die thing for them, but it is just perhaps, that they were created to care a little more?
Even Eve, the first woman was sought after by the serpent; instead of Adam, in the beginning, when the temptation happened, because she was more likely, to have paid attention to the tiniest of details, for instance; the shiny apples dangling in the garden, while Adam may have sat naked, out in the fields, wondering lazily why the lion has a beard!
image source/credit to: imgur
As a youngster, my mum shouted more in the house; "Terry have you taken the clothes in, it is about to rain!"
Even though the sun is dead hot and up; she already has checked her gut and feels it will rain! This is coupled with all the stress she has had to go through; from tending to kids earlier in the day at the school where she teaches!
Sometimes, i wonder what crosses through her mind while on the way back from work. Even after the 8-hours of hustle and bustle, she probably is thinking while on her way back, gosh; "i hope Terry washed that plate that i left in the tub before i left" OR "gosh, i hope Kate has filled up the empty bottles with new water".
Gosh, so much stress for women and it goes on and on as she arrives home and goes straight to the kitchen and sees it all clean but she still can't relax. She looks upon that 'one washed plate' for details and to make sure it is dead clean!
You laugh as you watch; then you walk up to her and say to her, while admiring her; "mum won't you rest! Don't worry, i took care of that dish, with thoughts of pleasing you and intense love too!"
Mum's are admirable really; but it will help them so much, if they could get some of this additional stress away from the picture. I mean, they do enough stress in their daily jobs!
On the other hand, men seem to sit down to think things out! Woman tend to go through the stress of mental labor as the things that they feel, they need to fix; are incessant! I mean, "who traces where the roaches are, so she can cut their trail?"
She is the organizer, rememberer, payer of attention, worrier, pacer, fashionista, weight-watcher, feeder, fixer, and she is one woman! This is work!
And especially when there is a new baby in the house; the mental work a woman has to go through daily, really does weigh her down, without her knowledge!
And many times too, even to the rest of the house; this extra workload on the woman goes unnoticed, as most of these questions, decision-making and actions take place in spurts and milliseconds, within her brain!
They start to grow weary and obviously grow into nags and seemingly unpleaseable woman!
Men and women have role to play, in understanding this!
It starts with the toothpaste running out and it goes on and on till infinity. It’s exhausting!
Sociologist Susan Walzer published a research article in 1996, called “Thinking About the Baby,” where scholars had already documented that women, even those who worked full time, were also doing an additional “second shift”: "the work that greets them, when they get home from work".
More of additional mental work that women have had to do, come from the invisible rantings in her mind, to constantly want to sort out so many tiny things at once!
"Did the maid feed the baby well"; "Is the baby crying right now with a full diaper and no one paying attention"; it's been months already and the baby is still looking tiny, "is her development and growth going right".
Then she imagines the baby laughing and momentarily she is able to pull of a smile; when she suddenly remembers that the diapers she order where to be delivered today and she instantly wants to pick up her phone to remind her maid or hubby at home, to look out for a delivery man!
Women and especially mothers; have to go through with this bulk of processing, within their minds!
Walzer found that women do most of the mental, intellectual, and emotional work of caring for children and organizing the home. They do more of the learning and information-processing (like researching the best baby food in town!).
The husband does his role to seemingly help as he takes turn staying awake all night to tend to the baby, but even his much; isn't half as much as the stress this moms heave up within them, while still carry out their regular house chores!
Just if there are other kids; imagine how many more tiny thoughts, she has to process every minute?
Are women super humans?
No! They indeed get drained by all these! It is stressful!
Wives have gathered the reputations of being nags but perhaps they are tired out. Any human would break, even visibly if their brain had to run as task manager and moreover, even most of all, when many of these other activities go on invisibly, without anyone around noticing, to as much as give her a warm embrace or read her mind and offload some of her tasks before she requests it!
Women get drained by all the extra thinking (extra work), without even knowing it and it tells on her general outlook and productivity in other activities!
They keep going on though but over time this accumulates and starts to weigh them down as even their moods spiral downward!
If we ever get interested in helping our women reduce some of their stress, we need to free our woman’s mind! This may involve proactively figuring out what may be going on in their minds and if you see something like "pick up the grocery at 12 midnight", then be ahead of her and carry out the task!
If some of the workload in women's heads are shared, then their extra burdens would be lifted. Only then, will women have a taste of 'lightness of mind' as seen in men!
They can suddenly jump up and no longer be drag queens!
Hurray! Hooray!
Give a random woman a hug today!
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your boy terry
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