父母在,不远游,游必有方!steemCreated with Sketch.

in #whereinlast year

跟父母的相处之道,也是慢慢学习成长的!之前,我就是那个对父母以前从来报喜不报忧的那个小孩,昨天,我翻完了和我妈近一年所有的聊天记录,我说妈我保送研究生了,我拿奖学金了,学校的街舞比赛我又赢了,而我妈在屏幕那端的回复永远都是三个大拇指,或者三个鼓掌的表情包,每次结束的时候他她永远都是那一句话,按时吃饭,不要熬夜!
我看到的时候我觉得我有点小得意,你看我长大了,我开始在照顾我妈的情绪,当我妈听到我所有的好消息的时候,她什么都不用管,她点赞就好了,前不久暑假我回家的时候偶然听邻居说,我妈做了一场手术,我突然发现,当我把我过得不好的那些日子给隐瞒起来的时候,换来的是父母他们过得不好却不肯跟我说!!!我问为什么?才发现她们不说的原因跟我一样,叫做说了有什么用,还不就是白担心吗?

  可是问题就出现在这个白担心上,所谓亲情也就是你牵挂我,我牵挂你吗?如果有一天我们觉得这些牵挂都是多余的时候,破碎的是亲情本身呐!那天晚上,我毫不知情的正在和同学们对酒当歌啊,我妈不肯告诉我,是一模一样的,在每一个表情包背后,不仅有他自以为是预测出来的坏消息,还有他无处安放的焦虑感。

  除此以外,当我继续看我们两个的聊天记录的时候,我发现我们还有很多没有拆开的红包,我父母很早就离异了,妈妈一直没有很稳定的工作和收入,我上大学以后,他隔三差五的会给我发一些红包,最近我去补习班当代课老师,挣了一些钱,我也会跟他发一些红包,我们明明就过得很拮据,可是每一次在红包后面的留言我们都会说,我们过得很好,我最近很有钱,谁都没有拆开对方的红包!

  有时候我真的很羡慕朋友圈里面那些截图,跟爸妈要红包的孩子,因为相比之下我跟我妈两个人活着都无比的懂事了,可是亲情最不需要的就是懂事!!!!

  心理学上告诉我们说,一段亲密关系最好的方式应该是相互暴露,而相互暴露的前提是,自我暴露!!!如果什么彼此之间什么都不说,从那一刻开始,我们的亲情就变质了,它变质成一场又一场官方的新闻发布会。

  我刚开始也是一样,自己身上发生的不好的事我不愿意告诉父母,担心他们承受不住受不起,可是我后来发现他们比我想象中的坚强!我喜欢在我的QQ空间里写日记,在这个空间的日志的留言区和评论版上有很多不太善意的玩笑,甚至是直接的辱骂,我当时没有和妈妈生活在一起,只是时常通了一下电话,我以为他不玩QQ,我以为他不知道这一切,可是我发现总有一个陌生的ID叫做沧海一粟,他会浏览完我所有空间的内容,直到上大学之后我才发现,那是我妈妈的小号,那些刺痛我的文字,我妈一字不落的全部看完了,坚持了整整6年,可是电话里头他从来都没有戳破过,我恍然大悟,原来原来他每次快挂电话的时候,跟我叮嘱的,说你多买一些零食跟同学们分享,是为了让我去缓和那些糟糕的关系!!

  我觉得健康的亲属关系应该是我们能够为自己的生活负责,同时我们相信彼此能够并且愿意消化和接纳对方的不良情绪,只有这个样子当我们在互相倾诉自己不如意的时候,我们才不会陷入到对方的情感漩涡当中去啊,我觉得今天写完这篇日记的时候,我要回去找我妈,我跟她聊一聊,我要把去年所有没有讲完故事的后半截告诉她,我要告诉她我被保存研究生了,但其实我基础很差,我很多书看不懂,我要告诉他去年在学校那场街舞比赛,我打的特别好,但是我跟我最好的朋友吵架了,我们到毕业都没有和好,我想告诉她我考试很轻松,但是我压力很大,其实我整夜整夜都没有睡觉!!我还想跟妈妈说,我没钱了,给我发一个红包,好不好呀!?

  I am the one who has never reported a worry to my parents. Yesterday, I finished all my chats with my mom for nearly a year. I said that I am sending a graduate student. I have a scholarship. I am going to the school’s street dance competition.  Win, and my mother's reply at the end of the screen is always three thumbs, or three applause expression packs, every time he ends, she is always the same sentence, eat on time, do not stay up late!

  When I saw it, I thought I was a little smug. You see that I grew up. I started to take care of my mother's emotions. When my mother heard all my good news, she didn't care about anything. She liked it.  Just fine. When I went home in the summer vacation, I accidentally listened to my neighbor and said that my mother had an operation. I suddenly found out that when I concealed those days when I was not doing well, I exchanged it.  Parents, they are not doing well, but they are not willing to tell me!  !  !  I asked why?  I found out that the reason why they didn’t say it was the same as me. It’s called to say what is the use, isn’t it just white worry?

   However, the problem arises in this white worry. The so-called family relationship is that you are concerned about me. I am concerned about you?  If one day we feel that these concerns are superfluous, the broken is the family itself!  That night, I was unknowingly singing songs with my classmates. My mom refused to tell me that it was exactly the same. Behind every expression pack, there was not only the bad news that he thought he was predicting, but also that he had no  Anxious feelings placed at the place.

In addition, when I continued to watch the chat records of our two, I found that we still have a lot of red envelopes that have not been opened. My parents have long since divorced. My mother has not had a very stable job and income. I went to college. Later, he will send me some red envelopes every other time. I recently went to the tutoring class for the contemporary class teacher and earned some money. I will also send some red packets with him. We obviously have a hard time, but every time behind the red envelope We will say that we have a good time. I have a lot of money recently. No one has opened the other party's red envelope!

   Sometimes I really envy the screenshots in the circle of friends, and the children who want to have a red envelope with my parents, because I am very sensible to live with my mom, but the most unwanted thing is the sensible!  !  !  !

   Psychology tells us that the best way to get a close relationship is to expose each other, and the premise of mutual exposure is self-exposure!  !  !  If nothing is said to each other, from that moment on, our family will deteriorate, and it will become an official press conference.

  I did the same at the beginning. I didn't want to tell my parents about the bad things that happened to me. I was worried that they couldn't bear it, but I later found out that they were stronger than I thought!  I like to write a diary in my QQ space. There are a lot of bad-spoken jokes in the message area and comment version of the log of this space, even direct insults. I didn't live with my mother at the time, but I always used it.  When I called, I thought he didn't play QQ. I thought he didn't know all about it, but I found that there was always a strange ID called Bohai. He would browse through all the contents of my space until I went to college and found out that it was  My mother's trumpet, those stinging my words, my mother has not finished reading all the words, insisted on a full 6 years, but he has never been poked in the phone, I suddenly realized that it turns out that he is fast every time.  When I hang up the phone, I am embarrassed to say that you buy more snacks to share with the classmates, in order to let me ease the bad relationship!  !

  I feel that healthy kinship should be that we are responsible for our own lives, and we believe that each other can and will digest and accept each other's bad feelings. Only in this way, when we confide in each other's disappointment, we will not fall into it.  I’m going to go back to my mom when I finished this diary today. I’m going to talk to her. I’m going to tell her the last half of the story that I didn’t finish last year, I want  Tell her that I was saved as a graduate student, but in fact my foundation is very poor. I don't understand many books. I want to tell him that he played in the street dance competition at school last year. I played very well, but I quarreled with my best friend.  We didn't have a good graduation. I want to tell her that my exam is very easy, but I am under a lot of pressure. In fact, I have not slept all night and all night!  !  I still want to tell my mother, I have no money, send me a red envelope, okay!  ?

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牛逼的大佬!

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谢谢!

来自于 [WhereIn Android] (http://www.wherein.io)

你是一个懂事的孩子!为你娘俩加油!

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谢谢!!谢谢支持

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👍️👍️👍️

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谢谢

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尤其是这种文章,本来就应该奖励的,偏偏这天微印没来,是否因为这样而失落呢?记得回复留言,朋友的支持才是长久写作的根基。要不然你很快下不下去了。

来自于 [WhereIn Android] (http://www.wherein.io)

是啊!感觉快坚持不下去了!!! 完全不知道,究竟该怎么玩这个,才能至少每天10美金!!之前就是个意外,现在完全不知道怎么弄!!!?

来自于 [WhereIn Android] (http://www.wherein.io)