Whale Whale Whale what do we have here? Whale Jokes what can I say!
Whale hello there, today I was just Whalen around and though I would share! :-)
What do whales eat for dinner? Fish and ships.
What do whales like to chew? Blubber gum!
How do you circumcise a whale? You send down four-skin divers.
What do you call a baby whale? A little squirt!
Did you hear about the flying whale? Actually its a whale of a story.
How is a dog and a marine biologist alike? One wags a tail and the other tags a whale.
Why did the whale cross the ocean? To get to the other tide!
What is a whale's favorite TV show? The Flukes of Hazard.
Why do whales sing? Because they can't talk.
What time is it when a whale runs into your boat? Time to get a new boat.
Why was the whale so sad? Because he was a Blue whale.
What kind of whale flies? Pilot whales.
How can you make a whale float? With root beer, ice cream and a whale.
A religious whale joke
"A little girl is talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher says that it is physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human being because, even though whales are very large mammals, their throats are far too small for a human to go down. The little girl says that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher says again that a whale cannot swallow a person and that it is physically impossible. The little girl says, 'When I get to Heaven, I will ask Jonah.' The teacher says, 'What if Jonah went to the other place?' The little girl replies, 'Then you can ask him.'" Source
Whale Pleasures
There were 2 whales swimming around who were very bored when they saw a fishing boat one whale says to the other, ''I've got an idea for a laugh, why don't we swim under the boat, blow water from our blowholes and capsize the boat, for a laugh''. They proceed to do this and swim back down laughing their flippers off. Then the first whale says, ''I have an even better idea, now that the fishermen are in the water, why don't we swim back up and eat a few?'' The other whale then replies ''Look mate I don't mind the odd blow job but I refuse to swallow seamen!!!!''
Source
Two whales walk into a bar.
The bartender asks what he can get them.
The first whale says "WOOOOOOWWWWWWWOOOOOOOEEEEEEEEEEE WWONNNKKKKKWOAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAWOOOOO."
The second whale says "damn it Frank you're already drunk."
I recon I found every good whale joke there is on google, however if I missed one or two please share with a comment.
The other night I overheard three very hefty women talking.
Their accent appeared to be Scottish, so I approached and asked, "Hello, are you three lassies from Scotland ?"
One of them angrily screeched, "It's Wales, Wales you bloody idiot!"
So I apologized and replied, "I am so sorry. Are you three whales from Scotland ?"
@toxonaut Lol awesome thanks for sharing much appreciated!
The meme, it's just to funny you did so good whahaha haha ha
Thanks, It think it serves it's purpose hahaha
@virtashare The first joke was funny and stomach turning at the same time :P
I figured it might get people's attention :-)