Fondling Whale Balls- A Primer for Minnows on Talking to Whales

in #whales3 years ago

There are 3.5 billion men. Each day it seems one of them is successful with the line "Hey, baby wanna fuck?" This is bad for all of humanity. The people involved regret their actions. Men think that they have a fighting chance with that line so it continues. Women slut shame the fuck out of each other. It's shitty and we all lose when it happens.

Similarly, when someone walks up to my steemit chat and posts hey F4F, as in follow for follow, I want to grab them by their balls or lady bits and toss them off a roof. Yes, I started a Minnow Support Project for people that want to grow as a community, but those people want to work. They respect that it takes time and effort to grow an account here. These F4F people when it's from a minnow to a non-minnow don't have any respect for the work that it took to get here. Maybe it actually works with larger accounts sometimes... but that makes me want to follower-shame the whale/dolphin that accepted the proposition. Seriously, you're just encouraging this kinda shit.

How should it be done?

First, if you're just starting out... you probably shouldn't talk to anyone other than another minnow. Maybe that's too harsh, but it's better to be on the safe side. Just watch and chill for a bit. See how this community works. When I start a new job I try not to say or do anything for 2 weeks. Start getting a sense of the culture. Things are probably done a certain way for a reason. Just because you can't see the reason your first day there doesn't mean you should run your mouth. Also, day 2 isn't the day to storm the boss's office declaring your manifesto for your new working environment.

Second it's kinda like courtship

I'm in sales and I use a dating analogy for sales all the time. For the genx-ers it's kinda like a man approaching a woman that's a little out of your league. For the millennials, it's sorta like a vegan gender fluid pansexual fair trade shopper who self identifies as a hampster talking to an amorophous asexual hermphoditdic zombie self identifying as a dino fluffy. You just don't walk up and say, "hey would you like to drop acid and molly in this cuddle puddle while we roll around stimulating genitals" while you're in a shopping mall dressed as people.

So, you have to be polite, be kind, and build a relationship. If you start with hey can you upvote my post or something like that they'll likely ignore you. If you have 2000 followers or 50k SP swingin' around maybe they'll take the call, but if you're looking for a handout with a person in a much stronger starting position I suggest something different.

Find out what interests them

Don't come onto my wall and start posting how much you love the USG. Don't tell me how you think we should invade more than the 7 coutries we're actively at war with or the many others we're occupying with military force. It won't be well received. I like Peace, Abundance, and Liberty. I spend my time growing active minnow posters. If you read that and have something to offer in that arena if you if you don't have a lot of SP or followers I might entertain your stuff then.

Say hi first, don't spam your shit, and figure out the rules by reading them somewhere

Everyone is welcome in the PALnet Discord channel. It's a public channel run by 6 publicly elected witnesses. We'd love to have you come in and say hi and get ot know us, but if you hop on link your post and ask for shit without anything else it's just kinda rude. It's like interuptting a conversation among a set of girls and asking which one of them might care to blow you first. It's rude. Don't do it.

If you want some attention start by following and commenting

Top posters are obsessive comment hounds. We build relationships. That's how we'e grown, and it's usually best done in the comments section. So, hop in a comment and drop a thoughtful something or a funny gif/meme. Do that a couple times and then try to interact with us in a more direct way on steemitchat or discord.

Breaking down the post name

Whale = rich person on Steemit
Whale balls= high SP

fondle playing with or gently accessing.

Attempting to get gentle access to a large SP account through friendly interaction.

Sort:  

Great suggestions. It's awesome to see how you're sticking with this support of growing accounts. What are your thoughts on linking a recent (and relevant) post in the comments of posts you like?

10774.jpg

This post received a 4.7% upvote from @randowhale thanks to @jhermanbeans! For more information, click here!

i followed you
now follow me @randowhale

OMG my vote actually gives more than 0.01 now

my tributes for whale ball fondling are worth more now!! take my money @aggroed

Lol I felt the same thing it was awesome 😍

i followed you
now follow me @nnnhh

Wow .. good picture that you show in this steemit,Very interesting, I've never seen pictures like this, I'm sure many people love and vote this photo, plus more background photos, very interesting photo frames, really amazing, the picture quality is very okay, how do you think @yoes

So, I'm relatively new here. This may be inappropriate, but I really want to know how @miky gets 13 upvotes and $4.25 for this comment. It doesn't seem to be related to the post ("very interesting photo frames"???). It doesn't add anything to the conversation. Who is upvoting it? Why is it rewarded in the 90th %ile for comments?

@beriberi if you use the eSteem app, you are randomly given these upvotes on your comments. It appears to occur mostly on replies that are longer than one line but I could be wrong. It doesn't seem fair but I think they're trying to encourage the adoption of their mobile app. Hope this helped.

Thanks for some clarification. I don't use the app. But if I did, I could write crap on popular posts and get $$?

I suppose you could, but I'd really hope that you would try to add some value.

I actually got rewarded by it in my last comment to you.

Don't forget, to prevent abuse, comments can also get downvoted/flagged if they are clearly spam.

i followed you
now follow me @elliotjgardner

C'mon, you don't think "picture is very OK" deserves at least 4.25? I'm upvoting it. I think it's worth $10 easily. :-)

And now 14 upvotes! "I've never seen pictures like this!"

Yes i agree with you i am in second week and i am learning how to use this site because i did vote for vote and its not help me and one of mu friend explained me how to use vote because if we vote all post and all comments then steem power decrease and nlt able to vote or post. Now i am just vote those whom i like to give and day by day learn things here. I like your post as its helpful to me as well as new user too.thank you for sharing.

asl?

The best analogies I have ever read :)
Well said

All you have to do is feed the whales with whale babies.. I think that's how it works!

Superb word picture - you nailed it!

Thank you very much for that @aggroed. In fact what you said is simple to be implemented. Being nice, polite, making your blog an interesting one (and when I say interesting one, is posting what you like doing in life as Steemit is supposed to be a blog, so blogs are open books in my humble opinion) and not bothering anyone with aggressiveness would be a good start. I was a lot lost in the beginning, didn't have a North to follow, but time passed and I began realizing it is my blog I am talking about and sooner or later people will come (and go, as there is always two sides of the coin).

Sorry if it is not clear in English, as it is not my mother language, but all I wanted to say is that I agree and my formula is: post nicely, be nice to others, upvote if there is a feeling to do so, cheer up, help, give your hand for support and don't be (or stay away from) a hater.

Wish you a great day @aggroed! I will be checking the PAL when time allows, too much work these days, which is good!

You did great. Glad to have you here! Thanks for reading!

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I read your picture as porncorn (after reading the post) LOL

Whales have balls? Are these some sort of Chinese delicacy?

DUDE MY100% UPVOTE IS WORTH LIKE 200$

insane....

I can feel it too, wow..win win for all

Welcome to the new federal reserve- @prophet0

This is definitely a bug. The question is are the dollar values being displayed incorrectly or is this a bigger payout bug. The later is bad, really bad.

Edit: My votes still worth 1 cent.

Realy cool ^)

Damn, nice one bud! That's awesome

What? Your vote is precious, vote wisely my friend :D

Do you feel like a free willy? (lol , from by blog post)

This post received a 4.8% upvote from @randowhale thanks to @aggroed! For more information, click here!

Thank you for the great advice. I am looking forward to slowly growing on here. Honestly, I am somewhat addicted. ;-)

I love the creativity. Even when you're explaining useful (but sometimes dry) content, I can't help but want to finish the article because of the amusing analogies and vivid examples you use.

Keep it comin'. You are one of the only members whose posts I ALWAYS try to read, as they consistently create value for the community and help educate me.

thanks Justin. Nice to have you in Discord.

It was definitely a great way to lay everything out.

my upvote was worth like $20 ?! what power is this?
I AM A GOD!!

I can upvote myself and my 2 cents is worth 2 cents

Wtf, people actually try this F2F shit on whales? SMH....

I can't even open chat in #postpromotion for two minutes without somebody giving me the equivalent of a dick pic via an F2F request. Like HELLO TO YOU TOO GUY.... Wanna introduce yourself first? Geez.... Lol

Nice Post, If only you could reach through the internet

Im sorry you get harassed that much.

Us minnows are trying to make our way but there are definitely better ways than harassing the big influencers. Hopefully this post will bring some awareness. I will he resteeming.

LOL I was guffawing through most of your post, but it is very much needed for all newcomers to Steemit. Sometimes something so basic as common courtesy is the very first thing you expect of anyone starting a new job. And sure enough, not only are you joining a brand new community here on Steemit, but you're also starting a new job (albeit a job you actually care about waking up in the morning for!)

I agree with you completely and also believe that the most important way to a whale's heart is by first actually reading their articles and engaging them in the comments; if they find time in their busy schedule to actually acknowledge you, then you can continue talking to them on the comments and later engage them on Steemit chat and Discord. It is most certainly a game of courtship, one toe at a time....

I must say I am enjoying this hard fork so far! The first thought that crossed my mind when I saw my wall after 11 am was 'Let's hope this is the actual HF 19 and not some glitch' lol

It's just starting gotta see what it does to Trending.

I immediately flipped over to the Trending section and my jaw dropped! It'll be great to see more of the minnows represented in the Trending section, which should be enough motivation for all minnows and newcomers to work hard to always produce high-quality content on a consistent basis. Patience and dedication are always the keys to paradise!

Don't think I've ever seen a PP go from $6 to $295 so fast! This HF is really going to shake things up I feel. Nice post, I kind of share your sentiment in this post from a few days ago https://steemit.com/steemit/@intothewild/guidelines-for-new-members-my-suggestions-minnows-listen-up

OH GOD OH GOD I TALKED TO AGGROED ON MY FIRST DAY! *i really hope you like me anyway🌻

I'm not a whale. And homesteaders are always welcome!

Whew! Good thing because you helped me since day one and I really appreciate that. This has been an interesting morning.

Insightful as always, thanks a lot!

"For the millennials, it's sorta like a vegan gender fluid pansexual fair trade shopper who self identifies as a hampster talking to an amorophous asexual hermphoditdic zombie self identifying as a dino fluffy."
Bruuh XDD

But yea, you are totally right. The first week I wast just reading and commenting to the things that I'm interested in. I had to because I didn't understand some things on here.

Yup, that line totally cracked me up :D ^^

@ You are true social engineer, Claps :)

Excellent post. Well said. I shall resteem, not to fondle any genitalia, but because I wish everyone on Steemit could read this.

Very helpful posts indeed especially for my fellow newbie here. Like getting your updates as it add value. Thanks

thats what I'm tryin' to do!

Great guy, I know that you want to add value to all. May the new hardfork favor you and make you a richer whale , amen!!!!will keep in touch.

Wait, what??!

That line doesn't work for anybody else?

After reading the post and enjoying the amusing analogy, I read the comments about peoples votes holding more weight. Is this something to do with STEEM v0.19.0. I just saw a post on my feed claiming it now gives us 4x harder votes? Still finding my feet here and reading anything I can find to understand this amazing platform :)

OK just searched HF and now understand the post I saw this morning talking about hard forks :D lol

Yeah, not about firm breakfast utensils.

lol thank you for taking the time to reply to me. My feed is exploding with cutlery posts now. It sounds like this HF19 is good news for us newbies, looking forward to reading how it all works.

I'm still holding back. Not sure yet. Gotta see what it looks like a week from now. And see what trending looks like.

Well it explains why my post have jumped up in value, in the last hour or so. So liking it at the moment :)

gotta wait week to see how it shakes out

I love how you put sexual desire and steemit together.
I can't like, steem makes me a bit horny.
I agree with the things that you have said and you should be proud of how many people you helped!

really love your thoughts there :) I am still a minnow but I am already fed up with minnows making F4F comments... I hope the comment and content quality will rise even more with this hard fork :)

I knor a guy who uses to go to clubs and would ask women:

"Hey, wanna have sex?"

If she said no, he then would add:

"ok, in that case I can save myself the time asking for a dance!"


What a dude lol.

He is single and lives with his parents at the age of 45 ;)

Don't be that guy.

Holding safe distance ;)

Hahahahaaha. YES

Glad you like it boss.

opps! who left the door open!
must be my fault I was curious....thought it was a hit parade..going to pay w/ my life for the damage I've done...
:-)
fondle w/ care !
namaste!

I have nothing to add, only just that this is the best thing I will read all day haha. Thanks for sharing!

Great post man! I'm an amorophous asexual hermphoditdic zombie self identifying as a dino fluffy, If you follow me I'll follow you ba...... LOL just kidding :p

Great writing!

So incredibly true... this is a community and it takes time to get to know the people involved in it. I'm new and am still finding my way around and that's going to be true for sometime.

This is no different than walking into a party where you don't know anyone and thinking you're the most important person in the room. Surprise, you aren't! That's just bad manners and you're going to alienate people not impress them.

Better to respect the new community you've joined and take sometime and get to know the people. I'm feeling really fortunate to be here at Steemit, am learning so much and totally enjoying the process. And I know it's going to take time to do that.

Coming on too strong here or anywhere in life doesn't work... thanks for a great post and for all you've done to help us get settled into this awesome place. Hope you're having a great day :)

This article is spot on! People are so eager to find the easy way out and never want to work hard for it. That's the problem with millennials nowadays. They think they deserve everything and everything should be given to them. Not to mention they're offended at everything! It drives me crazy. I could go on and on but your article hits it spot on. Work hard for what for what you want, no one owes you anything, and you will reap the rewards of success

Well said. It seems to be a habit formed from the MySpace days. I belong to a new music genre community on FB called synthwave that we've been growing for years. You get those friend requests all the time. You reluctantly accept the request only because from their profile they have dozens of mutual friends. 15 minutes later they are are sending you a PM with there music links please listen and inviting you to like there music page. It's gross tbh.

For my own Artist page I have a weird little system where I only make invites every time my page gets another 100 fans and that can take me about 6 to 12 months. When I first found the Synthwave community I just commented an engaged for a few months later posting my art in the group. I'm an artist so I wanted to do their logos and album covers. One of the things I did was find my fav synthwave producer and befriended him. I sincerely loved his music and he was one of the most respected at the time. A few months later I told him I'd love to do his next album cover. I offered to do it for nothing and that damn thing took me 3 weeks, lol. It got my art seen by everybody in the scene and 4 yrs later we are still good friends.

I don't know what's wrong with people these days?

You had me at peace, abundance and liberty. (and the millennial analogy)

It is so ill mannered and downright rude. You wouldn't do it in real life would you? Not if you were sane.

Use a bit of common decency, get to know people, engage and support. This way it is repaid many times over. Don't be all take take take, it's so crass unclassy.

Now, where's them balls at?

hi, it is really nice to meet you. Thanks for your fitting parable. I am here for two weeks was not using the best approach. It is important to learn, read more about the community, the whole network and concept. It takes time. If somebody thinks to get rich by posting shitposts he/she is wrong. That is obvious, but not first, second or third day. Many people should be grateful for your honesty as I am. Thank you again, I believe your advice and minnow support project will help us to save Abongphen Highland Forest in Cameroon.
Have a nice day.

When you are rich enough on your Steemit earnings maybe you can hire someone like Lewis Black wants to hire.

Hi aggroed, nice comparison between genxers and millenials, the fact they were 'dressed as people' killed me. Laughing my balls off here! Your post has also shed a little bit of light on the community. I like to post about music, touring and my own humble take on Steem and the market. Take it easy man.

Great post. I have been in sales most of my adult life and was always taught to be assertive rather than aggressive. Thanks for sharing.

I like consultative.

I like that very much too.

Good points. I spend 99% of my time here talking to other minnows. I think many of them will be the dolphins and whales of the future here. It might take me a bit longer to earn good rewards but I am more than willing to do the hard work and build a solid foundation.

Hi your title completely grabbed my attention ) So its true the f2f line is getting abit much I agree !! It takes time to build a relationship in the real world, so I think it pretty much the same here ! Great that you tell people straight how it is and how it should be too !! upvoted and resteemed to my followers @aggrored !

Thanks! Always good to see you on muh wall.

hahaha This was amusing but is very good advice and I like the analogy using the "Hey wanna fuck?" guys. It is clear you are right that this works as my okcupid is full of gross messages meaning at some point these guys got positive reinforcement when sending "nice tits".

long process.....but I like simple things....hehehehehe

I died reading that millennials analogy))

Hello. Sorry to bother. How do I get a link to the PALnet discord channel? Would love to pop in and say hi from South Africa and get to know more about how to gain more followers and readers. Thanks. Lots of love!

Thanks so much hunny!

Time to step up the ball fondling game make myself a....

I'm with you, f4f gets really old.. Steemit is like real life, nothing comes easy. You gotta pay your dues

You had me at Fondling! The balls are kinda like cherries on top. Fore real thanks for the info. Trying to be a sponge as a newbie and get my feet wet and learn everything I can at the same time.

A simple human thanks for what you are doing.

Lol it's funny to see ur post get 300$+ in 5 minutes. Anyways the F4F tactic some use seem to work in a disadvantage. I'v seen countless of people having a lot of followers combined with a lot of followings. Those that follow them usually have a lot of people following aswell, meaning that your posts get dumped between all the other followed ones. Best bet is to have people that actually are interested in the content you create. Hope I explained it clearly :p

Hi, minnow shit here great article. So what your saying is I should invest in a bunch of baby powder and a feather duster cause those balls aren't going to fondle themselves. Swing by say hi @jetjockey and check out my stuff let me know if you like any of it or if it's complete crap. Good day sir.

Yeah, basically. You'll appreciate it later.

Jut when I was thinking that I'm not doing enough here, the HF19 more than doubled what I had in my minuscule account. That was exciting.

Although I haven't yet found the time to hang out much here, I believe in letting my work speak. The posts I follow and comment on mostly are on topics that are of interest to me, that touch me or attract me.

There are those that think they can get away with anything by virtue of being new to the place. Minnows serious about making their presence felt wouldn’t merely rely on favors thrown their way. They’d buckle up, pay attention, interact and prepare for the ride of their life.

People I like and respect, I do so for a reason. I appreciate the time and effort they're putting in to encourage Minnows. I like what you're doing for Minnows. Thank you!

glad to have you there!

Written with exquisite knowledge of crafty carved know-how is quite obviously a tell sign of a genuine connoisseur. ;D
Laughed my small-fish balls out...

Glad it worked!

This is how you grow and build relationships, online and offline. Steemit is an opportunity to establish relationships that are both meaningful and mutually beneficial.

Thank you great post for minnow like my self. Have been read alot of post about organic growth here. Originally tried the follow for follow strategy but noticed most my followers followed because they enjoyed some form of content I have posted. It has been a week so far I think I am really enjoying this network! Thanks @babyfist

This post had me laughing from start to finish! I love how refreshingly real it is.

I am curious on your opinion. I am having a difficult time getting traction on my posts and I am not seeing many other businesses posting. Is steemit against small businesses or the fact that I am staying anon maybe not helping? Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated!

Thank you for all you do for steemit!

You have 72 followers. Stop posting and start commenting. When you're over 300 switch.

astounding article, honestly this should be pinned.


Some people on here are indeed overly thirsty. When it comes to F4F in hopes of champagne wishes and caviar dreams. There are people on here who want to add value by their story but it sucks having to compete with the people under the bridge as I call them who troll under a bridge of this community giving out handies, B and ZJ's for favors...lol

Very well said, @aggroed...
Manners.
Manners.
Manners.
They should be intact in any way of interaction.

oh yeh,

I was bombarded with F4F since my 1st minute here.... even with you must follow me ..... What...?

This is a wise and well-written post. ...how do I join the minnow support group? Seriously. I need minnow support! (desperate starving artist, here). And I'm already hustling like you wouldn't believe.. I totally believe that's the way to do well long-term here. Xx, Kay

You got a little support now !

Great post, as a lowly minnow may I point out a spelling error ;) love you tho <3

You "should have" closed by saying "...only after you achieve my status can you admonish others with impunity. In the mean time, just fukk off and back into the fish bowl with you little tykes." :-) Sounds like the "fine" work you are doing helping others is getting to you. "Maybe" try volunteering some time to a local charity and see if that helps keep your blood pressure down? These are only guppies afterall. :-)

I'm down on the bottom here though. Good post though.

I love it. the "art" of steemit seduction! lol

This is fucking insane...

Will be interesting to see the fallout from HF19 once all the dust (and payout figures) settles today.

I never liked the "I'm a receiver, not a giver" type of people

I have soft hands...

Oh, now I know how to perfectly fondle whale balls!!!

LMAO! The title and post cracked me up. Great read as always @aggroed! During the time it took me to read this post, the rewards went from $450 to double $905 at the moment. Holy Shit man!!! Great for you brother! Well-deserved for what you have done for us little fish. I'm thinking this fork thing is the real deal!

this made me laugh (sorry for approaching you Mr. Whale)

You're in teh comments. 100% welcomed and encouraged here. it's nice to meet you. I'm aggroed.

Thanks for this post.. im new did not understand the way of going here, now i do :)

How can I not upvote and resteem a fellow sales person. (We're not allowed to say salesman anymore. LOL )

Did you just assume by gender nuetral profession pronoun?

Na, I had a stern look from a female species a while back who did that throat clearing thing: "Ahem, I think you mean sales person, the role is not gender specific!"

Yes Ma'am (As in ham) :-D

wtf I was reading!

Thank you for the post it means a lot been here a week and learning the ropes here. Hope to do some brunt work and deliver quality and grow out of the Minnow Pond.

Thanks for the advice @aggroed I've been learning so much and growing bit by bit since joining the MSP. Just chugging along.. trying to connect to people (meaningfully) share what I hope is interesting and well written content, helping other minnows on the way, supporting the whales that have helped me - and investing in SP so I can do all that again on a larger scale!

Great title, very good point! Sometimes I lose faith in humanity when I see what (mainly) guys write to women. And people who sell their soul to get clicks, votes, attention and so on should be ashamed....

hey aggroed bend over

Hey buddy great post. I somewhat disagree with saying someone should NEVER talk to a whale as a noob. If someone shares similar interests to me or says something I have an opinion on I see no reason not to respond just because they are "above me".

That said I personally wouldn't make it a practice to run around with the sole purpose of stroking whale dongs trying to get an upvote. I'm just going to interact with people and do my thing and talk about topics that interest me where I legitimately have something to say and aren't just talking just to talk to whales but I really see nothing wrong with doing that.

That said I am new and am still getting a feel for the culture and etiquete of this site. So far I'm loving it.

Well, again, I'm talking first two weeks. Not your enitre life as a minnow.

I couldn't agree more. The best way to get started here is to engage in a meaningful way with people. The last thing I want to read in my comments is "followed please followed me". Honestly, did you read what I wrote?

I think people come here and see others making money so they want a free hand out. They want to make money the "easy way" instead of working for it. However, asking for the"easy way" is not sustainable even if it did work at the beginning. People will figure it out and stop helping!

I like your way that's always helpful to the community

I just joined today and this is by far the most helpful thing I've read so far. Thanks for taking the time to write it.

This place is definitely a little intimidating to me so far, but I love the concept. I'm just going to do my best to contribute decent content and see what happens.

Lol, I'm new enough that I don't have these problems.
Good to know how to handle it though. Entertaining read.

F4F, as in follow for follow, I want to grab them by their balls or lady bits and toss them off a roof

Bahahahah, literally laughed out loud and read this out to a few people. Thanks for sharing and making it humor filled

My second day here. I started out by posting so many blogs people told me I was a bullet train on mumbai local platform 😂 (Fellow Indians will get that). Now taking it slow and learning stuff here. The community here is really great and there is a larger chance of people genuinely reading and listening to you. It gives me more incentive to make more music and keep doing what I love to do. Thanks for this post! On to Discord now 🌟

Nice write up keep it coming

I kind of was wondering if I should expect the funny tag here or the nsfw tag.
Still, i think it should be worthwhile read for people new to the platform.

Hi, this is a great article that every minnow should reference to.