Death or life? A We Write contest entry
Here is an entry into the We Write contest. @tristancarax wrote the beginning and I wrote the ending.
The beginning:
Dear Diary:
Do you mind if I put my thoughts down in an honest manner? Would you revolt if I told you a lie? I suppose if I did it will gnaw at me since I am the one that will know what is written down on your fine pages.
Today, I am not feeling the best. I had alcohol to help numb me out. An attempt to keep the feelings from invading my body. Do I want to be in my body after being out of it for so long? It hurts getting back in. So much pain. And, the work that goes into removing the blockages that I have accumulated over my lifetime takes lots of patience and time.
Is death on the table? I really don't want to live with the thoughts that keep coming up with every muscle twitch. I just wish it would all end! I want some clarity in my life.
Is life an option? What choice do I have? Energy can neither be
created nor destroyed. If I choose death, life finds me again. Will I have to go through the same life until I master whatever challenge of this current life I still have yet to master? It sure does seem so.
The ending:
It is so
I didn't write that.
You did, as did I
What is going on?
You know, you understand. We have talked before.
I remember.
Even alcohol cannot numb you enough to the pain of your existence. Stronger substances would quicken your death, but get you no closer to clarity. You're almost there, surrender
Surrender to what?
Your pain
I'm trying to avoid the pain. I hurt so much I don't want to feel it anymore.
You must. Let it flow through you, feel it in every cell. It is the only way to move through it
I know you're right but I'm afraid.
What you fear is worse than what is
Then I surrender.
I wanted so badly to take this poor soul on a journey that uplifted him/her. I also wanted to stick to the diary format and not change the feel of the story. But five minutes wasn't enough for me to figure out how to do that. So I went with a channeled/automatic writing approach. For me this ends happily even if it didn't happen in the five minutes allotted.
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I thought you did a nice job. Fun read. Nice writing with you again.
Thank you! I always enjoy your freewrites and we writes too!