Death is literally on the table: A We Write Freewrite

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Here is an entry into the We Write contest with the "Death on the table" prompt. @kaelci wrote the beginning and I wrote the ending.

The beginning:

Michelle was in the kitchen, singing to herself as she surveyed the table. "The cat's in the cradle and death's on the table..."

"You know very well that's not how the song goes!"

Ugh. Poor disillusioned Kelly. Always so disdainful. So high and
mighty. Her huffy puffy voice pierced through Michelle's exuberance for the THIRD time that evening and she raised a silver spoon into the air, making little stabby motions with it.

"Kelly, I am actually fully aware of how the song goes... it's called 'artistic liberty'. Besides, in case you haven't noticed, death IS on the table."

"If that's what you want to call it..."

"It's exactly what I want to call it... oh!" Why was she holding a silver spoon? She flung it into the sink, delighting in Kelly's wince
as the clank echoed through the room, and grabbed the knife instead. Michelle's father was a butcher and had delivered some prime pork chops earlier that day... uh, also a pig's head. She had no idea why. Did people actually use those things? For eating? This was the future! People didn't eat pig's heads anymore, right?

She would have to investigate, perhaps find a recipe online... she vaguely remembered a cooking show cooking with a head once, or was that feet? Who knew anymore? She never paid that much attention to things and had a bit of a scatterbrain... oh! That's what she could do! It could be a grand prank! If she played her cards right... or played the pig's head right... maybe she could get a new housemate. YES! Ideas were flowing faster than she could think them.

The ending:

Somehow Michelle made it through dinner. Kelly had thankfully left the room in a typical huff after she'd been subjected to more singing.

But that was Michelle's plan. The pig's head was in the fridge and Kelly had no idea it was there. Now, with silence in the kitchen the plotting in her head could begin in earnest.

With each dish and utensil she cleaned she thought of another gruesome way to use the head to make Kelly move out. Put it her bed, in the bathroom, in the toilet, in her closet, on top of the TV.

Then she thought about cutting the ears and nose off and leaving those in Kelly's makeup bag...that would do it. Snickering, she grabbed a sharp knife and headed for the fridge.

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So that was gross, but given the beginning I felt I needed to complete the ghastly idea laid out. Though more gruesome ideas occurred to me I didn't think I could write those in 5 minutes (thank god!)

Also I drew on personal experience. In high school we dissected baby pigs. It was awful and I've blocked most of it out of my mind.

But one of the boys in our class thought it would be funny to take the ears and the nose and leave them in the office of the baseball coach. So he drew a little face on a paper and laid out the ears and nose. They reeked of formaldehyde in addition to being gross to look at.

No one else thought it was funny. Not the coach or the principal. He almost got kicked off the team if I remember correctly.

Thanks for writing the beginning @kaelci!

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