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RE: "Phantom!" - We-Write #12 with @owasco
Holy freaking cow! @owasco started the story brilliantly, and you knocked it out of the park! I would have taken it somewhere dark if I was writing the other half too, but you surpassed anything I could have done. That was masterful. You two should write a book together or something. Wow.
OMG, I can't believe you liked it - thank you! I regret that I didn't achieve that witty, bright, ironic tone @owasco does so well, with quirky humor. Also, I'm still thinking of the story: the tourists are there because Edgar made a provision in his will that they should be welcome; they love his music; they love him; therefore, they should be allowed to invade his home and consume all the atmosphere and aura and museum-like sense of seeing the artifacts of his life. Elsie, I'm thinking, is more private, and sees the artist as one who works alone and apart from the fans. So, it might have pained her to see the feet of the doting hordes on her rugs. ("Their" rugs, but he is more open and giving of his person.) I was thinking of the invasiveness of Penelope's suitors in Ulysses, and having someone send a herd of goats into the sunflowers, and a swarm of bees into the house (knowing that bees never sting Elsie so she'd be safe), but that was more dark than comical, and I just decided to call it a day. Stay closer to the sense of #freewrite and #5MinuteFreewrite (no turning it into a novel!) - LOL - thank you so much for the kind words! (*How did I not think of goats until after I'd posted this??)
Because you never think of goats until I arrive! Hahaha! I loved the darkness of the whole piece. The invasion of the tourists made my skin crawl, and I know you are not a fan of horror writing, so good job with the creepy! The moment of her death was so perfectly written. Coppery taste of blood... You can't mask your genius. And neither can @owasco for the perfect setup. Seriously, you two should collaborate again!
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You're awesome!!
Actually if you look at @owasco's comment box in part one, I did think of the goats before you commented, but then, now that I've gotten to know you, I think of goats on a daily basis - they're right up there now with cats and dogs of you-tube as my "go-to". In fact that's what made me think of them. The leafless onset of November, the shorter days, the time of year (my sister killed in November) is just a thing that affects me even if I manage not to consciously think about it. I swear I don't even realize it's That Time of Year again until I write something dark, or I over-react to things, write a scathing review of a novel about a guy who dies and doesn't realize he's dead...yeah. Suddenly I think "Oh. November." That explains it. Being "Aware" doesn't stop the unconcsious from setting me up for another fall... but now my excuse is handy whenever it happens again. :)
Thank you again for all your kind comments. I am no genius, but far be it from me to argue against any such claims! I need more of @owasco's humor...
And I meant to say you DID inspire the goat idea that didn't make it into the story.
And you are a fantastic writer, with so many of your own original and awesome stories to tell, and so much knowledge, authenticity, and descriptive detail. You're totally a natural at that. I am not. Look at the richness of @owasco's details and the abstract (lacking in specific, concrete details) of my half. Yeah. You're the natural writers!
holy cow I'm just getting to these comments! I had no idea we'd sparked such a conversation. I had no idea there had been such wonderful things said by @goat-girlz, who really might want to someday sort of like consider continuing a wewrite herself. It's super fun and nobody judges you! Except maybe @carolkean, who can often be far too hard on herself.
I like what we both wrote, a lot, and hope to get back to it someday TOGETHER. but I've joined a womens's chorus and I am one of the very few in it who is not a professional singer, so I've been working on the music. Which is what I used to do when I wasn't writing, or dancing, or gardening, or cooking, or walking my dog and cat.
You don't consider yourself a professional singer? You have the talent!
You walk your cat? On a leash? Bobi the Bad wouldn't agree to that (we tried).
I like our we-write too! Unfortunatey I bumped off Elsie, but a revised and expanded version could save that for the very end,..
And ditto that on @goat-girlz, our talented writer who doesn't find time to write much--our loss!!