Yes, I can only imagine. I had a dream or memory once that finally gave me insight into my younger past and abuse that occurred. I have discussed this with some close to me and it was part of my own personal healing. Like you, I was unaware of some strange fears and my abusive marriage, I think was part of a twisted reliving of something I was too young to understand.

I am so happy that you found your safe place in your husband and have been able to move forward. Hugs.