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RE: Life with Multiple Personalities (Dissociative Identity Disorder)
Wow @byn. I'm speechless. This is powerful writing. I wish I could vote, but I'm below 75. I had goosebumps reading this. I have studied this and related to the context having once questioned if I, too, was a multiple. Many years of abuse are blocked from my memory. Well done.
Thank you.
The general consensus is that serious abuse before the age of 8 can cause Dissociative Identity Disorder. I do know that it is possible, even as adults to dissociate to some extent and block things out, but I don't know if it is the same. I don't know, though. Up until all hell broke loose for me, I had no idea about any of it.
When my family/friends found out, there was all kinds of "Oooooh, THAT is what that is? I thought you were just drunk/acting like a toddler/being weird" when in reality, I had no memory of any of those things, because at that point in life, I was dissociating whilst being completely unaware that I was still even conscious.
Of course still to this day there are a LOT of black spaces in my memories (as in years and years of them as well as sporadic months/etc.) but I don't know what I was doing or 'who' I was at the time. It is a bit unsettling to know that at least for a good portion of my life, I was capable of going, doing, functioning, making choices, etc. without being at all aware of what I was doing.
It completely changes those years of bad choices/drinking too much and "blacking out" to a whole different level.
Yes, I can only imagine. I had a dream or memory once that finally gave me insight into my younger past and abuse that occurred. I have discussed this with some close to me and it was part of my own personal healing. Like you, I was unaware of some strange fears and my abusive marriage, I think was part of a twisted reliving of something I was too young to understand.
I am so happy that you found your safe place in your husband and have been able to move forward. Hugs.
I am glad that you've finally been able to find your other half as well. It makes a difference <3
Thank you @byn. I never have had a relationship like this and I am finding it so nice to know this level of comfort.