A waving hand that she was looking for

Often when I lie down and close my eyes and want to disconnect from every external thing that disturbs me out. My craving for memory rises and what I avoid all day comes back to me again. And there I stand with roses in my cheeks with an attempt to look like a winner. Little scared eyes were searching around and there a little far, a waving hand that she was looking for and she was not searching for anything anymore.