Today, Market Square.

I stop to buy some bread at the mall and maybe pick a gift item for my colleague whose birthday is tomorrow. Two freshly baked loaves are nestling in my cart when I walk to a corner housing ladies' stuff.

This sales girl walks up to me.

"I know this face, you were here yesterday." She throws at me with her index finger. She had approached me on Saturday inside the mall to market some oil perfumes. I politely told her I didn't need any.

"Saturday, not yesterday." I corrected her, paying keen attention to the umbrella I wasn't going to buy.

"And you pretended like you didn't see me." She blurted out.

What? Where did that come from? I almost break into a cynic laughter but I don't. Between you and I, who is supposed to see each other? I gently calmed the sarcastic lord in me.

"Did you see me walk in?" I grinned, turning to her now.

She waves her head like a cornered puppy. I didn't bother rubbing it in anymore. I turned back to the shelf with a nod, the grin had now melted into a smile.

"What are you buying?," she peers into my cart. "oh, bread. Is it only bread you buy? You bought bread the last time too."

This is getting really interesting. I must give this fair maiden with a caked face, chiseled eyebrows and curvy hips some attention, I must. I must. I am a man after all, how can I pretend not to see her? Am I mad?

" You sure I bought bread the last time? Well, I didn't. Right now, I'm just trying to pick a gift for my colleague." I tell her with a tone of finality, the smile never leaves my face.

I imagined walking up to her, holding her face tenderly and looking into her eyes. "Sweety, there's really one thing I need from you right now , I would give anything to have you do it right now."

I imagined her smile broadening into Lagos-Ibadan express way. "What do you need from me? Just say the word."

"Your absence." I would scream into her ears.

But no, I snap out of the evil intent and change my mind. I wasn't raised like that.

''Oh, I thought you're buying it for your wife." The unrepentant heathen blurts out.

Now the camel back has been broken, I am on the ground. What? Now I regret not carrying out my evil intent earlier. Don't you give up? You should be rich as shit now.