Love n relationships.

Love, love, love!

It is one of the most discussed word in existence today. Children are taught about it in the church or any other place of worship. High school and university students would also talk about it. Amazingly, even old folks talk about love. Love is also a phenomena that is not just discussed, it is desired. Young or old notwithstanding, we all desire love. In fact, we are naturally drawn to the person or people that shows us more love.

Another amazing thing about love is that it is defined based on experiences more than it is from the dictionary; different people define love based on the experience that they have rather than talk about the dictionary definition. This then means that different people see and explain love from their experiences. I know some folks who gave a definition for love that opposes the definition that can be found in the dictionary. Whenever I tell them, hey men, this definition of your does not align to that which exists in the dictionary.

The question then is; what is love?

I read up an article from an expert some years back. The expert explained that the best way to make your readers understand a concept that you want them to understand is to tell them what that concept is not before telling them what it is, and i intend to do that in this article. Please pardon me because I usually don’t write this way.

Love is not sex and sex is not love: several people see love as sex. The media have also contributed in portraying this (sex as love) as true. In movies, we can see a guy meeting with a girl and the next thing is him telling the girl that he loves her and the next thing is that they are both naked and he is in. the fact that the movies portray such lies does not make it true.

Now, I am not against having sex but I also know that sex is not love. Sex could happen without love and also love can exist without sex. This is the reason a man can have sex with a woman without even bordering to know what her name is and she wouldn’t mind as long as she gets her paycheck after the whole event. A woman can have sex with a man, move on and in two months, she does not even remember that such a man exists.

Sex have been described as ‘making love’ but I have seen a guy who broke the nose of a girl one hour after they ‘made love’. Sex is definitely not love.

Love is not money or gifts: people have a way of thinking that the fact that they get gifts or money from others means that they are loved by the gift givers. Love could and should result into giving of gifts but love is not money.

Love is not time or attention:

I agree with experts who have said that; love to a woman means time and attention but I don’t agree with them completely. Hey lady, a guy who truly loves you should be able to give you time and attention. However, the fact that a guy is giving you time and attention may not necessarily mean that he truly loves you. He may just want to get into your pants.

Love is not respect: for the guys, it is very possible that a girl was properly trained from her youthful days to be respectful. The fact that she gives you respect may just be her being her.

I am very sure that you may be saying in your heart; what then is love, you have just added to my initial confusion. Well, I am sorry about that but I would write on what love is in my next article. Stay tuned in!