Do you really know what you want? Why do you feel miserable when your wishes are fulfilled ?, Lacan explains it to you in this II Part
Good afternoon, dear friends of Steemit.
In the I Part of this topic I introduced some generalities about the principles of the Lacanian theory about desire. This II Part is aimed at relating its elements more closely to the nature of man.
Why do we want certain things and not others?
My clinic does not inquire about the ethical or moral fact of our desires, but what is really our link with it.
Why do we like battering couples?
Why do we like alcoholics?
Is it possible that we want to help these people?
In that case, I congratulate you because you have a healthy superego; but be careful because your love life is not going to be satisfactory.
At this point you are wondering ... is it that I can not be faithful to what I really want? As if it were a major force, my unconscious governs what I want?
I'll tell you no, it's not like that.
What happens is that the very nature and strength of desire is as changeable as life itself, desire is mobile, it is the living thing of life: it is life, it is our essence.
So, what's still the problem?
That people do not know how to desire. Unfortunately they learn to desire what others want; and in the worst case, what he thinks others want.
In this sense, I suggest you take care of common sense. To be desired and desirable for the other is our desire; but social interactions show us that what we do is to follow a pattern that morality and good manners, in the form of an urban script, shows us about desire.
On the social scene, we are actors, we interpret roles, without knowing who the author is, who the actors are, who the protagonists are and what the plot is. The issue is that it is difficult to differentiate between desire and fantasy in all this social game.
Let's see it this way ...
They give us an upbringing where we must strive to be model parents, perfect housewives; but what if we do not want that? It is the desire of another who wishes in our place.
Now let's see this ...
The Great Other.
Imagine an entity; but it is not the God that you know. However, it keeps similarities, among them is the only one to whom you can address with total fidelity, to whom you direct your prayers (acts of language), before whom we can really be ourselves.
It is this freedom (to free oneself, to be free) that a great number of patients have found in psychoanalysis: to reach an agreement between the painful and incessant demand imposed by Great Other and the real desire.
Do you think we could be happier if we wanted something and immediately it would be fulfilled?
No, probably.
Because it is what I have been commenting above: the feeling of satisfaction does not depend on the wish being fulfilled; but of its _possibility, _ of its postponement, of fantasy, of waiting.
Let's take the example of the problems with our partner, do not you think it is much easier to talk and let us know what you want from us ?, in order to know if we are willing to comply with your wishes.
We really can not do anything with the other person's desire; but with what we can do something is with our own desire, which represents a great achievement for the acceptance of ourselves and, in fact, to accept others.
Look at it this way, we have our desires behind a door, repressed both, him and us; and we are only free when we let it go out so that it takes the most appropriate form, although it probably will not be the one we have chosen; but the one that asks to emancipate us from those negative patterns that are harmful both for us and for others.
The analysis and the analyst.
At this point, I am now going to talk to you about the fundamental role of this life experience in front of the analyst, who is the person who puts your desire in evidence.
It works simply like a mirror because we can not advise you or tell you what you can do with your desire. What we do is take your testimony and confront it with its meanings, both those we perceive in a manifest way, and those that are hidden, as well as if we try to interpret your dream.
The function and ethics of the analyst are also given by their scientific rigor, where the experiences of each subject mediate to build their subjectivity, which will allow him to take responsibility for it.
The analyst's career is also due to its scientific rigor, where the experiences of each subject mediate to build their subjectivity, which will allow them to take responsibility for it.
Let's see this ...
I do not deserve to be loved.
Nobody loves Me.
I do not believe in love.
This person does not love me.
A common feeling (love) that is expressed in different ways, is the specific way that each person has to relate to their desire, so it is important the relationship not cura as if it were a disease of the soul.
With this brief exposition I do not finish my ideas about the desire, by virtue of the brevity with which I approach the subject. For the moment I indicated that _ desire_ is the thread through which I have led the explanations of my theory about the stages of thought.
Subject that I leave pending.
References.
The wish theory of Jaques Lacan
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Posted from my blog with SteemPress : http://sandracabrera.rockdio.org/2019/03/25/do-you-really-know-what-you-want-why-do-you-feel-miserable-when-your-wishes-are-fulfilled-lacan-explains-it-to-you-in-this-ii-part-2/
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