VlogDay 17 - Something other than me needs to break
Woke up this morning and couldn't fall back asleep. I think it was 7am when my eyes first opened and I did the stupid thing of check my phone. What a horrible habit our society has gotten into. Checking phones. Well, what I saw there basically stopped my eyes from closing and getting back to the sleep I needed. I mean, it's the day after St. Patricks day, no one, and I mean no one, is going to be doing any work this morning checking anything. But, I had to get up to get to the coffee shop so that I could try. Try to find some work. Try to find some hope. Try to find some comfort of having other people around. Eight years...eight years. sigh Alone, broke, and no real visible future. Will the clouds ever break to reveal a sunrise?
Hope y'all have a great Sunday! Hope I do too...
Michael
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This is the first of your vlogs I have opened.... I am not sure why this one, and not any of the other 16 (wow!),but I watched it, and it has touched me.
I wanted to ask questions, in order to possibly be able to make some suggestions, but then I remembered that most people prefer a simple, and uplifting comment to an actual suggestion.
Kind of like the uplifting comments you mentioned in the video....
Keeping it all nice and pleasant.
I don't know you, so I have no suggestions. I can't even offer an uplifting comment, because I don't know anything about you, and I have no idea what awaits you around the corner.
I do wish you good luck though, or a breath of opportunity...
Thank you :) Your simple honesty means more than an uplifting comment or advice. I really am running out of ideas. Been at it so long, trying so many different things. People keep telling me that success is just around the corner. That I just need to keep trying. But, I think I've tried more than any person I know with no results. Or, at least nothing that improves my life in any way, shape, or form. It's just...well...exhausting. People tell me that the bad times pass, that it's a cycle of good and bad...but my good has never lasted more than a couple days despite all of my efforts. Paths that should lead to more paths dead end for me. Blind luck, continues to be blind and miss me. I have had so many people say to my face that they are going to hire me, and never hear from them again. I've had so many people say I'm a great guy, but never introduce me to anyone. I've had more people than I can count tell me how great my work is, but not hire me.
I live in this place where everyone is telling me these things, but nothing in the world reflects any of those words. I'm broke, alone, depressed, and desperately working as hard as I can to make something happen. I fall asleep thinking about how I can try and find someone to hire me, and wake up with the same thoughts. From the moment my eyes do open until pretty much my eyes close late at night, I'm writing, applying, shooting, editing, pitching, trying to network, trying to get people to care. It's like I've been side-lined from life and the coach won't let me back in no matter how much I've gotten better. Just, out of the game. I get to watch life slide by while I try and grab at an edge to lift myself back into it. The more I talk about it, the bigger the cold shoulder I get. The less I talk about it, the more silence I hear from everyone around me.
I just want to move forward with my life...but nothing I do seems to make it happen...
Anyways, thanks for dropping by and leaving your kind words :) I no longer look for sympathy, just a f*king way out. Opportunity, chance, something to get back into life...
I do have some idea what that feels like... I am not sure if anyone can honestly claim more than that.
At any rate, I have more to say about this, I will share a story from my life, soon. I need to sit down and write it, but I think it can help you, maybe...
Stories are always good :) I've heard many. Told many. I just need to break through and find something instead of being where I'm at.